The brambles and the bushes around Columbia Falls used to be populated with a clan named Darling. Yep! That was their last name. There are still 11 Darlings in the phone book, but perhaps only one of the originals who personally knows me. Talked to him last week and he said the first time we met was in 1945 when Columbia Falls beat my Flathead Braves in a football game. Didn't want to argue with him because he's over eighty years of age. Pete says he still works up there for the city. Hate to concede anything here, but sorta remember Columbia Falls beat the Braves earlier that year in a warmup game. Maybe it was a spring practice contest and our best guys had gone fishin' … don't remember. Worked with Pete's brother Les during World War II in the Forest Service.

Got to phoning local Darlings after receiving a letter form one in San Diego and I wondered if he was part of that original clan. Those I called said they "were not." Pete said he is the last of that original athletically talented bunch left in Columbia Falls.

Anyway, this Darling fella in California sent a list of letters from people who wrote to the county welfare office. A few samples might be good for a laugh:

"I have no children yet. My husband is a bus driver and works night and day."

"I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with my doctor for two weeks and he doesn't seem to be doing me any good. If things don't improve, I will send for another doctor."

"Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I'm living with can't eat or do anything until he knows."

"I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children, one of which was a mistake."

"In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory."

"This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?"

"My husband had his project cut off months ago, and I haven't had any relief since."

That is probably enough of that borrowed column feeder stuff, but I thank that Darling in San Diego for sending it when I was feeling sort of lazy.

A person would think that with jobs getting scarce, those who have one would all be trying harder to hang onto what they have; however, that may not always be the case. Locally, I'm sure most of you have occasionally run into a government employee who isn't very polite, or a business employee who feels he or she is doing you a favor to wait on you. Thank goodness that is the rare exception in the Flathead rather than the rule.

A man at Cardinal Discount store in Kalispell named Leon last week not only figured out what I needed to repair my beloved reading lamp, but then proceeded to fix it for me right there. Made my day … my week.

Not that way in the state of Pennsylvania's booze stores. The State Liquor Control Board has hired a consulting firm to teach store clerks how to be nice to customers. The state is paying $173,000 for that program. Those who make it through the training are expected to come out "friendlier, well-mannered, and with bubbly personalities." Can you imagine a consulting company with so much magic it can train 650 store managers how to teach thousands of adult employees those basic manners their parents, teachers, and life experiences haven't?

Maybe they could get Leon to that … for less that 173,000 dollars.

Did you see that AP article from Bellevue, Washington? Guy was using the special "car pool lane" on the freeway into Seattle. Got stopped by the Highway Patrol who found his "passenger" was a home-made dummy designed to beat the traffic laws. Patrolman pulled him over because the "passenger's' seat belt was "dangling" outside. Not often they catch a car with two dummies in it.

G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and a national-award winning Hungry Horse News columnist.