If October is your favorite month, grab a grim mask, a big bag for candy and pull up a seat next to the campfire.

Oh, and watch out for that slobbering sucker with the chain saw over there.

Kidding! You won't find any actual bloodthirsty chain saw wielders around here this month, but if it's tingles you're after, both the pleasant and scary kinds, you've come to the right place.

Before we unveil some fall classics for you, let us first bow our heads and bury our dead.

Last year featured a newcomer to the autumn entertainment front, a real pirate adventure at the Kootenai County Fairgrounds. It was fun, one and done. Who knows? The pirates may return someday when the economy's a little stronger.

Speaking of strength, there are plenty of tests ahead to gauge your intestinal fortitude. And there's just plain October fun. Dig in!

PRAIRIE HOME FARM

A traditional treat every October since 2003, registered nurse Linda Swenson transforms her delightful historic farm into a fall festival every Wednesday and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tomorrow is opening day.

Hundreds of school kids are already signed up for visits, but there's plenty of room for others to stop by, feed the farm animals and pick out a plump pumpkin. Compared to 2009, the pickens are prime.

"Last year we had that three-night freeze," Linda was saying the other day. "It wiped out all our pumpkins. But the pumpkins this year are just gorgeous." Or is that gourdeous?

Big, anyway. Linda says she counted more than 30 jack-o'lanterns-in-waiting that weigh more than 50 pounds apiece. And one of them - something from Frankenstein's laBORatory, apparently - sprouted egg yellow and weighs in at a George Foreman-like 250 pounds.

"It's freakish," she says.

Also in the freak category you'll find another gargantuan gourd - a hanging vegetable that Linda estimates at 5 feet.

Still not sold? Well then, how about snorting around with the farm's two famous pigs? These prodigious porkers have been spared the butcher's block, partly because Linda's husband is a big ol' softy, and partly because there might not be a butcher's block big enough.

"They're around 500 pounds each," Linda says, "bigger than life."

Visitors wanting to pluck a pumpkin from the patch won't be charged admission to the farm. For everyone else, admission is $1. Anyone wishing to feed the animals can purchase a bag of food for the beasties for $3.50. Each bag contains tasty morsels for 11 different farm critters.

As always, Prairie Home Farm will feature a not-so-scary storytime in the barn later this month. This nifty bit of yarn spinning on haybales will take place Saturday, Oct. 23 at 1 p.m.

The farm is located on the east side of Atlas Road just south of Prairie Avenue. Phone: 762-3289

SCARYWOOD

As much as Prairie Home Farm is ideal for big pigs and the little folks scurrying about your haunted house, Scarywood isn't. Well, not at night anyway.

For the second consecutive year, Silverwood Theme Park, 15 miles north of Coeur d'Alene on Highway 95, is being transformed (deformed?) by this haunting adventure. As reporter Alecia Warren will attest, Scarywood really is scary. Right, Alecia? Alecia?

While we're looking for Alecia's reportorial remains, we'll advise you, dear reader, that Scarywood has benefited from a $1 million infusion of cash. You think you'll scream? Imagine the investors!

But we can seriously recommend Scarywood for intrepid souls of all sizes. In addition to last year's thrilling Terror Canyon Trail and Zombiewood Express, Silverwood principals brought in highly skilled and, some say, seriously sick technicians and specialists who have upgraved - sorry, upgraded - this terrifying experience at every twist and turn. In fact, they've taken that nice little museum building and turned it into Bayou Blood. You'll be wading into your worst nightmares there - and everywhere else you're brave enough to uncover your eyes.

WARNING: If you suffer from the dread psychological affliction known to clinical professionals as screamingteengirlitis, you may wish to avoid Scarywood. Otherwise, bring a spare pair of boxer shorts and prepare for a most memorable evening. It should be memorable, seeing as how it might be your last!

Scarywood opens to the general public today from 6 p.m. until midnight. For admission prices and other information, go to www.silverwoodthemepark.com or call (208) 683-3400, Ext. 0.

AMAIZING CORN MAZE

Yep, it's amazing what they can do with a few thousand stalks of dead corn and a little imagination.

Spaceships bearing hostile aliens have invaded this otherwise docile rural crib on Beck Road about a half mile south of Highway 53 and a mile north of Stateline Speedway. And starting Oct. 9, part of the 13 acres will be dedicated to scaring the popcorn right out of you. That's when a haunted maze portion will open.

In all there are more than five miles of pathways in this family-friendly setting. Five separate mazes feature beginner, intermediate and advanced levels.

Admission is $8 for adults and $5 for children 5-18. If you're 60 and older or 4 and younger, you're free. Wait a second. If you're 4 or younger, you're not able to read this wonderfully written story, so to heck with you.

Info: (509) 242-CORN

GREEN BLUFF GROWERS

OK, we'll get the disclaimer out of the way right now. There isn't much we like about Spokane and its surrounding environs.

But one grand exception every October is the Green Bluff Growers. Carve out a chunk of any weekend this month, pack up the fambly and indulge in the fabulous fruits of fall.

This collection of farms north of Spokane offers music, hot food, arts, crafts and vegetables of darn near every shape and taste. Our family has a tradition, which I will happily share with you in exchange for your renewing your Press subscription for another year and tipping your carrier handsomely.

First we go to Knapp's, where the farmer launches pumpkins from an air-powered cannon in his back yard. He's like the hunter who's never fired a shot; he's never hit the target hundreds of yards away across the road, but that hasn't seemed to dim his enthusiasm in the slightest. He calls his sport Punkin Chuckin.

Then we wander over to Walter's Fruit Ranch, where we ride out into the orchards and pick our own apples. They end up in my wife's famous apple pies, which are perfect for hard-core apple fans like me. Get it? Hard core? Well, isn't there at least the seed of a pun in there?

The grand finale is Harvest House, which features entertainment, stuff for the kids to do, lots of hot food to choose from, a number of booths and, drumroll please, the world's most delicious pumpkin doughnuts. As any human or zombie will tell you, those doughnuts are to die for.

Wanna see something really scary? Load up at Harvest House on homemade fudge, pumpkin doughnuts and a couple gallons of apple cider. Take them home. Then, about 6:30 on Oct. 15, eat and drink it all. Jump up and down until eyes turn red and face goes green. Proceed directly to the Lions Club Haunted House in Post Falls. Now, that show would be worth the price of admission!

Green Bluff farms: Check out greenbluffgrowers.com and click on Grower Locator & Map.

LIONS CLUB HAUNTED HOUSE

Our perennial fave, the haunted house won't open its creaky, creepy doors for a couple more weeks, but you should put it on your calendar now.

Brought to living death every year by our friends from the Post Falls Lions Club and an army of undead, this haunted house provides as many dollars for charity as it does screams and soilings from its patrons. The dirt-floored freakhouse at the corner of Fourth and Post will be open with several new features starting Oct. 15. Cost is $6 for everyone, dead or alive. We'll share much more with you on the Lions Club Haunted House as its dawn of disaster draws closer.

What have we missed?

If you know of a haunted house or other local fun fall activity not listed here, please contact the editor at mpatrick@cdapress.com.