On the way to baggage claim in the Shanghai airport on Saturday, Sue Harrison passed the rest of the tour group with her hand cupping her mouth to amplify her clarion call: "Last call for Western-style bathrooms!"

Like a switch had flipped in their brains, the women in the group instantly handed their carry-ons to their husbands and turned to follow.

"It's one of our highest priorities," joked Elaine Stevens as they lined up outside the washroom.

We on the Idaho tour group really miss good bathrooms in China.

We really, really miss them.

See, when one approaches a public restroom in China, a sense of unease arises. What will it be this time? A "five star" facility - with toilets, paper and soap? Or the blood chilling - and most common - three stars and below? Usually that entails no soap, maybe paper in a roller on the wall, and naught but a hole on the floor behind the stall doors. That's the case almost everywhere, whether at restaurants, hotels or landmarks.

It isn't that bad... So long as you can hold your breath for an impressive stretch, and carry hand sanitizer and tissue. And so long as you can adapt to being strangely intimate with yourself during a process that you have never had to be so engaged in before.

It's a urinary catharsis that has changed us all.

Some turn away from the stalls shaking their heads, preferring to steel their bladders for a better offer. But most of us have accepted that the next rest stop is perpetually unknown, and we must take advantage while we can.

So armored with whatever sparse toiletries we have, we enter where the scent is overwhelming, the burning incense in the corner no match for it.

"That was a hellish experience," one tour member - OK, it was me - said after stumbling out, dazed and reeling, from a restroom where the floor was slick with something other than soap water.

The men don't seem to complain.

But they don't understand what restrooms are to women. They're an oasis, a social gathering place, a refuge. It's where makeup is dabbed and news is exchanged and bladder relief daintily and hopefully comfortably accomplished. When nothing else in life goes right, a nice, clean bathroom can set it all right.

Likewise, a putrid one can unravel the best of days.

So the girls in the group have had some trying days recently.

But I felt a spark of hope on Monday. My bladder didn't stand a chance when we visited the tea village, what with all the talk of drinking, the gurgling fountains and the generous sample drinks.

The bathrooms were unwelcoming - neither paper nor soap nor toilets to be found.

But in my camera bag were stuffed things it had never been intended for - toilet paper and hand sanitizer. I focused on happy memories, and dove inside the dank stall.

Walking out, I felt like I was victorious. These restrooms couldn't get me down. Like the Dali Lama, I could rise above it.

Still, peeing here is totally gross. No getting past that.

So the thoughts I leave you with are this: Care for your restrooms. Scrub them, supply them copiously. That porcelain seat can be the best constant in your life.