In a previous incarnation, I patronized vertical wine tastings, mostly to benefit charities. Never quite sure what vertical meant I could only guess that an excessive amount of it might lead to a horizontal tasting. Now I have more accurate information.

Vertical tastings include different vintages of the same wine from the same winery. Thus, we might obtain and sample cabernets from six different years but all created by Screw Top Winery in Rathdrum. A horizontal tasting includes samples of the same vintage - e. g., cabernets from 2003 - from different wineries.

Once upon a time, a friend and I attempted an informal scotch tasting. We saved six or seven samples which we lined up on his kitchen counter. We made no judgments about quality but were surprised at the startlingly different tastes. Variances between single malt and blends we expected, but even within those categories the flavors were quite varied. Six or seven scotches yielded six or seven distinctive flavors. I guess it was a modified horizontal tasting since we included several distilleries and a variety of years, whatever we had on hand.

Not nearly so long ago, several gents in Sandpoint, including a reporter friend, decided to evaluate local burgers. We called it a "burger off" and designed detailed charts to ensure objective evaluations. Many of those eating spots are now gone - Big Joe's, the Whistlestop, P. J.'s Bar and Grill, and the Garden - but others, such as the Hydra, Connie's and Mitzi's, are still in business. It was hard to find a bad burger in Sandpoint; the tradition for excellence was powerful. The whole contest was a sham, anyway, an excuse to have lunch together weekly; we judges cheated mercilessly. Some restaurant owners, especially Joe Hurst, aka Big Joe, and John Klager, proprietor of the Whistlestop, pretended to take us seriously and mockingly tried to influence the voting with bribery and flattery.

I was once part of an impromptu pizza tasting in Flagstaff, Ariz. Several families brought pizzas from different stores so we cut them all up and did judging. Panelists ranged from toddlers to grandparents and a jolly good time was had by all. But none of these tastings - wine, scotch, burgers, or pizza - holds a candle to one I heard about recently.

Katie Blank, who with her family owns Recycled Cycles, created a semi-vertical (45 degree?) tasting of Oreo cookies, which sounds to me like a hoot. Katie and her 12-year-old niece bought eight different kinds of Oreos and served up the whole batch for dessert one evening. Which Oreo was the best? According to the Nabisco website, there are 51 varieties, though some differences are merely in packaging. Whatever, there are a lot of different Oreos. I also learned, at that same site, consumers can vote for jingles. Had I only known sooner, I might have entered. "Seven" rhymes with "heaven" and "eight" with "fate," after all, so I was part way there. "Oreo" might prove a tough rhyme like "orange" but one of Katie's daughters is a poet and would probably lend a hand.

Hats off to families. Katie says hers has always been playful even in the face of adversity; their business burnt to the ground not many years ago but they mustered the fortitude to rebuild. Popeye's strength comes from spinach; could the Blanks' fortitude come from Oreos? Pray for appropriate temperatures and rainfall so the fields or vineyards from which Blank family Oreos are harvested will produce truly memorable vintages. By the way, no cookies were killed during the making of this column.

Tim Hunt, the son of a linotype operator, is a retired college professor and nonprofit administrator who lives in Hayden with his wife and three cats. He can be reached at linotype.hunt785@gmail.com.