Now that scientists have discovered a planet similar to Earth, I guess all this talk about protecting our environment is a waste of breath.

In case you've been away, freeing yourself from under that rock, we've found a planet that is roughly two-and-a-half times larger that this big ball of goo we now inhabit.

Let's go now, you say? Ha - not so fast. With our current space travel technology, that trip to Kepler-22b (the planet, 600 light years away, named for the space telescope from which it was discovered) would take a mere 22 million years.

And now that NASA is not a real player in the space exploration business (at least for now), it opens the door for private companies to come up with the technology to get us there soon. I'm giving them a 20-year window. I figure I'll still be around by then, and I can enjoy the trip, which in a souped-up Millennium Falcon-like craft will take just enough time for the space attendant to pass out our four-course meals, the remains of which we'll jettison as we pass Mars and Pluto. Hey - we don't want to pollute our new home just yet.

Scientists are expecting life-sustaining liquid (another technical phrase for water) should be present, and the surface temperature could be in the 70-degree range. Hmm ... sounds like San Diego. I'm even more excited to blast off now.

Sing it, David Bowie:

"Ground Control to Major Tom - commencing countdown, engines on ..."

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We'll have to book Bowie a ticket for in-flight entertainment.

But there's a catch: There's a good chance that the new planet is covered by liquid. And that's fine - didn't you ever see "Waterworld?" We'll just take Kevin Costner and his webbed body along to scope it out. Maybe he can find the drain plug if he looks hard enough and then we'll have a coastline. In that case, we'll need Jimmy Buffett for entertainment, too. Oh, and a case or two of tequila and those little wooden drink umbrellas.

The one thing that scientists may not know for some time is if ol' 22b has an atmosphere. That's a real deal breaker. But if it does, it's game on - To Infinity, and beyond!

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Back to the save-the-environment thing. Now that there's a "reasonable" chance we're getting off this sphere before it explodes or implodes or just goes completely to hell, I guess we don't have to worry so much about the status of the third rock from the sun when we put it up for sale.

And I'm sure we'll be getting plenty of offers. Regardless of whether or not you're a Gene Roddenberry or George Lucas fan, you gotta believe we're not alone in the Universe. With that being said, once we plant the big "For Sale" sign on the North Pole, spacecraft of all sorts should be asking for clearance to land, and a bidding war will undoubtedly ensue.

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How much do you ask for a "fixer-upper" of a planet that sustains life? Granted there are a few areas that need a little TLC. Siberia is a little unpolished, and the east coast of Japan has got a bit of a radiation problem.

But these are things that can be agreed upon, kind of like a carpet allowance on a used home, but on a bit larger scale.

So stay tuned. The inter-solar system space race has begun, and a physical target is now set.

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I'll let you know when we can commence with that global food fight/we're-outta-here party once we sell off this lemon and get set to head for a real planet.

While not a tree-hugger, Jerry Hitchcock doesn't really think the Earth is worthless and kinda likes it here. Until he blasts off, he can be reached at 664-8176 Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected].