COEUR d'ALENE - Sarah Brown's goal is to fill a need she wished she never had to.

In a perfect world, Brown wouldn't be looking for property on Lake Coeur d'Alene for a startup camp for grieving families, because she never would have went to Camp Agape, in Gig Harbor, Wash., where the idea began.

In a perfect world, the Browns would never have traveled every summer for five straight summers to the support camp for families who have a child diagnosed with cancer because their son Parker never would have had the disease.

But he did.

"I still feel like I'm still in shock it turned out the way it did," said Brown, of Omak, Wash. "Shock and awe."

She's grateful, too, she said.

Because it's not a perfect world, and Parker did have cancer, but it was at the western Washington camp where Sarah and husband Josh learned how to cope and heal.

Families there grieved together, learned from each other. They asked each other questions people not at the camp would never need to ask. Everyone was similar, a community. You're not alone for feeling guilty, the camp taught. It's OK to be happy. It's OK to laugh and have fun.

But when Parker, 8, died on Dec. 20, 2009, there was nowhere for the Browns to go.

"It's a daily thing for me," Brown said, reflecting on the loss. "It does affect my parenting no matter how much I try to not let it."

But Brown took what she learned at the support camps and embarked on a new path, establishing a camp for families who have lost a child - called Parker's Place.

Similar in concept, it brings together families to grieve, learn, ask questions and heal.

"You feel guilty when you laugh after you lose a child," said Joan Genter, Windermere real estate agent who lost a son in 1985, and is helping spread word of the new camp in Coeur d'Alene. "I couldn't even say my son's name for five years without crying ... Unless you've been in those shoes, you don't understand how difficult it is to become normal again."

Brown met Genter on a whim.

Brown, originally from the Spokane area, ran the camp its first year in Montana, but needed a permanent home. Camp Lutherhaven on Lake Coeur d'Alene, always booked during the summer, squeezed Parker's Place in last summer for its second year.

After the camp, the Browns were killing time in Coeur d'Alene when Sarah decided to "shoot for the moon" and walk into a real estate office about locating the camp here for good. Genter was taking walk-ins that day.

"It just really doesn't feel like an accident," said Brown.

Genter is also helping the new nonprofit search for a permanent site on Lake Coeur d'Alene. The camp's first summer here was a success, raising around $9,000 and hosting 12 families. July 1-5 will be its second year at Camp Lutherhaven, and the goal is to raise $30,000 for 22 families.

Games, activities, volunteer big brother and big sister buddies playing with the children, the lesson is the same - it's OK to grieve, but it's OK to laugh again, too.

"It was the first time since Conner died that I saw (my daughters) smile," said Natalie Langford of Hayden, who attended the camp less than six weeks after her 8-year-old son Conner died. "I thought it was way too soon, we were in a really bad, bad spot at that point ... but it was amazing, absolutely amazing."

Brown, who will begin pursuing a degree in social work from Eastern Washington University, hopes the camp becomes her permanent job. It may sound strange, she said, a summer camp for grief, but the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.

And there are more families who can benefit, she said.

"I know with my whole heart there will be a waiting list," she said.

That's her dream, to help all those people who are trying to make the best out of an imperfect world.

Info: Sarah Brown (509) 557-9337.

To register for camp: www.lutherhaven.com/lutherhaven/summer-programs/family-camps/

Want to help?

• A 5K fundraiser for Parker's Place, Race-2-Place, will take place Sunday, April 29 at Mirabeau Park Trailhead, on the Centennial Trail in Spokane Valley. Entries cost $30. To register visit www.race2place.org