I'm sure you've seen them. It's hard to avoid - They're everywhere.

Stick family vinyl stickers on the back window of the vehicle in front of you are the essence of false advertising everywhere I go.

After some amateur investigation, I've noticed not one person in the family resembles his or her image on the back window, unless little Suzy is anorexic (not that I'm condoning anorexia - I'm just sayin').

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You knew it had to happen, in our hectic the-family-that-drives-around-together-stays-together world, the need to be validated as the perfect family is just a clean window and a little vinyl sticker away.

The stick figures have evolved, from something we all used to draw while playing hangman, into something to behold with a little artistic flair.

And I'm all for artistic flair. At least a stick family is a little more appealing than, say, that "Horn broke - watch for finger" bumper sticker.

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Back to the false advertising. It's rare that I spend time looking directly into people's vehicles (honest, officer, my eyes are always front and center), but I catch myself wondering what this family really looks like. More often than not, it's just mom on the way to pick up one or more of her brood from this activity or that, or it might be dad, yakking on the cell while navigating his way through a Big Gulp. But here and there, yep, it's the whole fam-damily. And no, they don't often look as blissfully content with life as their plastic portrait suggests.

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But in the end, it's cutesy and it's personalized, and that is why it has caught on. And it gets your vehicle noticed, which I assume is the point. Now if you'd only keep said vehicle washed, you'd appear slightly less slovenly...

I do like the ones with young-uns that seem to drift off into infinity, as if there really is dad, mom, 23 kids, goldfish, a dog and a cat inside that Ford Expedition. Hey, they're big inside, but not that big.

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Lately, I've also noticed the trend away from stick figures. Now the family truckster might have a row (again, largest on left, size decreasing off to the right) of penguins, soccer balls, barefeet or flip flops.

And I have a problem with this as well, since I seriously doubt that everyone in the family is really that much into the Arctic, kicking round rubber objects all day or hanging out at the beach every weekend.

No, no - the sticker on the back window of our family getaway vehicle would have to be very truthful. The roster would depict (from left to right) Dad (hey, that's me!) - slightly frumpy (?), with a computer keyboard in one hand and straddling my trusty bicycle; Mom (The wife) - smokin' hot; the college student daughter - with a pom pom in one hand and a laptop in the other; and finally, Joey the pooch - long and low, with a trail of shedded hair drifting off to infinity ...

When he's not peeking into people's vehicles on Highway 95, Jerry Hitchcock is a copy editor for The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176 Ext. 2017, or via email at jhitchcock@cdapress.com.