Happy 50th wedding anniversary mom and dad. This is your golden year; a lifetime milestone that demands celebration. It's time to cut the cake, visit with family and friends and dance.

While organizing my parents' anniversary party, I wonder if there is a secret to sustaining a marriage for 50 years? Why do many marriages fail in the first seven years while a select few reach the golden celebration? Being married 50 years is a rarity attained by only 5 percent of Americans. What makes my parents' marriage so rare? What's the secret? I asked my parents how their marriage thrived for half a century. Below are their answers:

• Tell me about how you met. Dad: I met her on a blind date with a guy I knew because his girlfriend wanted her cousin to go out with them. Mom: My cousin asked me go out on a double date with her, her boyfriend and another guy.

• How were you initially attracted to each other? Dad: Living, breathing and of the opposite sex. And kind of cute, too. Mom: He was funny and a lot of fun.

• Your courtship was short. How did you know "This is the one." Dad: We felt good together. She liked me and I liked her. Mom: I don't think we did know. We were just caught up in the excitement of the moment.

• 50 years is a long time. Were there rough times in your marriage? Dad: Of course. Mom: Every marriage has rough times. I would say we had three or four major turning points where we could have split but decided to stay together.

• Why did you decide to stay together? Dad: Because we loved each other more than we cared about the outside pressures. Mom: Basically, each time we found ourselves growing apart, we decided we cared about each other enough to work things out and redefine our relationship.

• Raising kids can put stress on a marriage. How did raising your three children affect your marriage? Dad: It made us parents. Suddenly there were more people to think about than just ourselves, and it wasn't just an epiphany that happened in one day. It kept redirecting our lives whether we were ready or not. Mom: Our lives started revolving around babies. With three in 2 1/2 years, I thought I would never get out of diapers. Then grammar school came, and we spent our time at school, games and other children's activities like Scouts. In high school, life was about school, FFA, sports, etc. The kids defined us.

• What about passion? Does it ebb and flow, disappear or is it always there? Dad: It's always there. Mom: Sometimes life gets in the way of passion, but it never goes away.

• What do you think about 50 years of marriage? Dad: I try not to think about it. We have been with each other longer than we have anybody else. It's comfortable the way it is. Mom: Sometimes I wonder how this happened. Did we get old while we were busy living? I don't feel old, and Bill says he doesn't, either, but then how did our kids get into their 40s, and why are most of our friends so old?

• What is/was the biggest barrier in your marriage? Dad: I don't know of any barriers we ever had. We always wanted a better life, but we made do with what we had. Mom: Well, we always wanted more money.

• What is the biggest reward in your 50 years of marriage? Dad: We have each other, three great kids, seven grandkids, four great-grandkids, and no matter what happens, they can't take that away from me. Mom: We have each other and a wonderful family, but especially, we have each other.

• What is the secret to making it 50 years? Dad: Luck. We kept our health, kept our sanity and never wanted to be with anybody else. Mom: I think no matter what life brings your way, you have to remember your relationship and save time to work on it. Spend time doing things together that you enjoy. That's something my husband taught me. I tend to take things too seriously and forget to have fun. He told me once that having fun is just as important as taking care of business.

• Was divorce ever an option? Dad: Yes, but we chose not to accept that option. Mom: Once, but after thinking it through, we decided to fix the problems in our relationship instead.

• How do you see the next 50 years? Dad: More of the same. We have it figured out now. Why change it? Change for the sake of change is not worth it. Mom: I just want to keep living and loving as long as I can. I hope to spend as much time with our family as possible. It is so much fun to watch and play with the latest generation of little ones. And, of course, I am looking forward to many more adventures with Bill. Our plans for the near future include salmon fishing, golf, travel and spending time with family. Who knows what is next?

• Why do you believe more than half the couples in the United States end their marriage in divorce? Dad: They put too much emphasis on the "I" in marriage, there is no "we" in marriage, but there is a "we" in wedding. "We" are much more important than "I" is. Mom: People give up too easily. They don't understand the meaning of commitment and working out their problems. Whatever caused the argument that leads to the first divorce will probably happen again with the next spouse. Of course, there are exceptions, such as an abusive spouse. In that case divorce is the right thing to do.

• If you had one thing that you could do or that people might do to change the world for the positive, what would that be? Dad: Get a patent for my water-powered car. Mom: This may not set right with many people, but I think children do better with strong parental supervision, chores and a sense of responsibility, along with lots of love and laughter. Also, the extended family is important so someone is always available when a child needs attention or guidance. We need more ambitious movers and shakers in the next generation, and someone must teach them.

• What is your relationship like today? Dad: It's like it always was, only older. We still like each other. Mom: I think it's better than ever. We have become friends as well as lovers. I can't think of anyone I would rather be with, whether it is to have a good time or to help me get through a bad time.

• What mistakes have you made in your marriage that you might share with younger couples so they might not make the same mistake? Dad: Be sure to communicate early and often about finances. Mom: The same.

• Last words of wisdom. What is your life outlook? What makes you, you? What do you wish to share with the world to make it a better place? Dad: I am a caring person and probably give more than I should. My advice is to live each day like there is a tomorrow. If you want something so bad right now that you have to have it, remember that tomorrow you must pay for it. Nothing is free. Mom: He forgot to mention his carefree spirit, refreshingly child-like personality and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. As for me, I think I am good hearted and have always been a hard worker. Bill and I only knew each other for three months when we got married. I was 18 and he was 20, so in many ways, we grew up and learned life's lessons together, many of them the hard way. But I wouldn't change anything. We have had many wonderful moments throughout the years, and I hope we have many more.

Bill Rutherford is a psychotherapist, public speaker, elementary school counselor, adjunct college psychology instructor and executive chef, and owner of Rutherford Education Group. Please email him at bprutherford@hotmail.com.