Louise Greek has seen it first hand, how polished and content a church-going couple can appear.

Devout pairs can seem impervious to the plagues of other relationships, she noted.

So there doesn't seem reason to look for problems.

But that's a myth, Greek said. Which she learned the hard way.

"Something happened to someone close to me," Greek said of a friend in California she prefers remain anonymous. "We had kind of suspected something for many years, but really didn't have a name for it, until we became aware of a physical incident."

It was enough to pry open her eyes, she said. Domestic violence still happens among couples of strong faith, despite the contradiction it poses.

"This particular family, they were in the faith community, with deep religious values," Greek said. "So it's like, that doesn't fit."

It's an issue, she has discovered, that many still haven't grasped.

Now a volunteer with ARMS, Abuse Recovery Ministries and Services, the Coeur d'Alene retiree has become increasingly aware that many spiritual leaders are as unversed on abuse among churchgoers as she used to be.

"Pastors often respond with, 'Not in my church, my congregation,' or 'Not him, he's so wonderful, he teaches Sunday school,'" Greek said.

She alluded to a study of 500 religious leaders by Religion and Violence e-Learning, that found most pastors have never preached against spousal abuse, and that clergy are reluctant to refer individuals to outside community resources.

That's why ARMS has partnered with nonprofits like the North Idaho Violence Prevention Center and Oasis to train spiritual leaders on recognizing abusive relationships and making appropriate referrals.

The next session is scheduled from 9 a.m. to noon on Nov. 19, at Dalton Church of Christ.

"We want to help the pastors to understand that it is occurring in their congregations, and when it does, it's not the right diagnosis to say, 'You need to come in for marriage counseling,'" Greek said.

Callie Weatherford, NIVPC programs manager, said many spiritual leaders at training sessions have reported a lack of training available to them on the subject.

"It's helpful for them when we come in and let them know the red flags of domestic violence," Weatherford said.

That's crucial in Kootenai County, Weatherford said, as NIVPC has seen a recent spike in clients for its shelter, court, counseling and sexual assault programs.

"It happens everywhere, and the economy now does play a role," Weatherford said. "There are a lot of stresses right now."

Spiritual leaders play one of the most important roles in helping individuals in domestic violence situations, she added.

"They're having problems at home, their pastor, their church, are the first people they trust." she said.

Pastor Ron Hunter with Church of the Nazarene in Coeur d'Alene said he has actually received extensive training in psychology, group dynamics and anger management at conferences and seminars.

"Spiritual leaders have been on the front lines of all kinds of crises in human history from the get-go," Hunter said.

It's rare to see individuals in domestic violence situations at his congregation, he said, but he is prepared to refer them to local shelters and other resources.

"I've got a lady staying with a family in the church, she's coming out of a very difficult relationship," he said. "It's been abusive, and I'm still working with both parties."

He acknowledged there are other church leaders who could use some enlightening on such issues.

"Quite frankly, there are some spiritual leaders who have no training," Hunter said.

The sessions include presentations on the psychological make-up of an abuser, Greek said, as well as the legal aspects of domestic violence situations and the available resources to help.

ARMS emphasizes couples separating for their protection, and only divorcing if reconciliation is impossible, she said.

"We don't encourage divorce. We don't promote that," Greek said. "Our main concern for the women is their safety."

ARMS also offers 15 free weekly classes for women in abusive relationships, two of which are offered in Coeur d'Alene. For more information, call (866) 262-9284.

To RSVP for the Nov. 17 training session, call 691-4680 or the above 866 number.

The session is open to spiritual leaders and any other interested members of the community, Greek said.

"We're trying to help them understand (domestic violence), to recognize it and be able to respond in a healthy way," she said.