If your house is not fully adorned with Christmas lights this time if year, I bet your neighbors' home is.

Be it colored, clear, blinking, rope or strobe, it's all about the illumination as we head toward Dec. 25.

I can't say I am addicted to the yearly ritual of pulling the light boxes off the garage shelf, plugging in all the strings to see which ones have issues, grabbing the ladder and stringing lights as far as they will reach. Years ago, I was that guy, very diligent in keeping up with the brighter and blinking Joneses.

But not anymore. My daughter has moved out, and it was always the look on her face when she saw the house lit up for the first time each season that kept me motivated to stake and string to her heart's content.

Nowadays, it just doesn't have the same appeal.

Years ago, I often lived near a neighborhood that would all join in the illumination sensation. It starts slow, but if you have a family or two that really drives the issues (or good-naturedly knows how to get under the skin of a few neighbors), in a few years the surrounding streets have that "Christmas Story" feel.

And I think that is great. Once word gets out that a whole neighborhood - subdivision, whatever - is teaming together with a lust for lights, lookee-loos will converge in droves to take a cruise through Candy Cane Lane.

Once a few houses get into the act, the fever spreads like the smell of gingerbread. Soon a whole street is lit up, save for that one Bah-humbug family that'll be putting up the For Sale sign in the spring.

I have driven the family Truckster on a few of those cruises, taking note of the many neighbors, gathered in a driveway, their hands and rumps warmed by a 55-gallon drum bonfire, each sipping a little hot chocolate and waving to passing motorists or passing out candy canes.

Nothing brings more camaraderie to a neighborhood than a well-executed light show. It's the one time of year that all participants have a common bond.

Alas, my Christmas cheer isn't putting me in the mood to go search for those light boxes in the garage. I haven't walked the aisles at the local store, watching for the new, hot light-up item that will really make my house pop with Frankincense flair.

I have noticed some trends, though.

Blow-up fever: Yep, a string of lights and an animated scene just won't cut it anymore. Now you can find about anything conceivable enclosed in vinyl, with a pump attached. I've seen houses with eight or nine of these inflatable monstrosities jostling for room on the lawn.

Steamrolled by Mannheim: You can tell who never lets go of the holiday spirit when you drive by and the sign on the lawn tells you which FM station to tune to in order to get the full effect of the orchestrated light show which runs on a loop. While the rest of the crew is struck speechless by the spectacle, I'm left wondering how many days this guy spent taping, stapling, screwing and plugging to get this Hidenburg off the ground.

Things aren't what they seem: It's really not a problem here, but a few states south I have seen folks flock their whole front yard, even the Saguaro cactus by the driveway. Nothing says Christmas like lights strung around a palm tree.

Drive-by Santa: No matter where I live, it seems that someone full of Christmas spirit (and hopefully no other spirits) will don the big suit of red and white, jump in a vehicle and wave wildly to all in an unnecessary attempt to boost the holiday happiness. Great, Santa, but go home and rest up for your big night. You'll need it.

So whether you're struck with the frontal decorating bug or not, remember: What goes up must come down - either in the chill of January, or the balminess of June.

The latter to your neighbor's chagrin.

Jerry Hitchcock, a copy editor for The Press, has few well-used strings of Christmas lights for sale, and a rusty animated moose. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected].