Often I am asked, "What is the best way to lose weight?" Being a psychotherapist, educator and Executive Chef places me in a unique position to understand food and one's motivation to eat, over-eat or have an eating disorder. Being asked this question innumerable times makes me think, "I should share what I know to be true with those who might benefit most from this information." I share this information on my new website, "Dieting with Dignity" (dietingwithdignity.com).

Few people have the opportunity to afford the motivation of a personal trainer, the skills of a private chef, the opportunity of a club membership, the benefit of mental health therapy or the organization of a life coach. For this reason, I offer "Dieting with Dignity," to teach and motivate a person to become physically and mentally healthy. I believe when one ignores the psychology behind eating and motivation, that person disregards understanding the why one is the way they are. Disregarding the why of weight gain ensures dieting failure and a loss of dignity.

I've struggled with my weight most of my adult life. I can count on one hand the times in the past 20 years that I have removed my shirt in public. My body is not a temple that I'm proud to display - I've lost my dignity. I'm not obese and many might believe me to be physically fit but the truth hides under my clothes. I wear suit jackets and vests to hide the embarrassing role of fat that rides above my beltline and refuse to wear tight shirts hoping to veil my flabby chest.

My 32-inch waist pants no longer fit around my tummy and now ride uncomfortably below my round gut. My neck has grown an inch or two in the past five years and neckties which once comfortably fit around my collared dress shirts now choke, forcefully reminding me to unbutton my collar and loosen my tie before noon.

I wish I had the confidence to remove my shirt at the beach. I love swimming and enjoy the warmth of summer sun on my skin but without confidence and dignity, the sun will never warm my pale body. A wise man once said, "Wish in one hand and spit in the other to see which one fills up first." The prophecy is true. Wishing something to happen without action is futile. It's time for action.

My goal is to regain confidence in me - not just my physical appearance but how I feel about my physical health. I'm not searching to become Adonis but am looking to be comfortable in my own skin. To do this, I must regain dignity in how I look, the food I consume and the physical movement I make. I plan to reinvent me by using my knowledge of psychology and human behavior, my education and experience as an Executive Chef and my understanding of the person I am trying to change - me.

Dieting can be undignified. When one chooses to diet, one is declaring, "I'm out of control, I don't like the way my body looks and, by eating too much and moving too little, I made me this way." In hope of regaining dignity, the dieter announces to all who will listen, "I'm on a diet now," once more admitting failure but saying, "I know I'm fat but look at me now, I'm going to fix it," and then often fail again, regaining the loss of dignity.

A healthy body and mind is lifelong work - a marathon, not a sprint. I need to discover how to make lifelong changes that are sustainable and purposeful. As I look online for diet option I hit many roadblocks. My choices are:

• Ordering frozen food from a major diet company. All portions are measured and food is easy to prepare but I cannot see doing this for the rest of my life. I am looking for a life change, not a quick change that is not sustainable. This diet is not for me.

• Losing 15 pounds in two weeks, guaranteed, by eating protein bars and drinking protein shakes. This does not feel dignified. Snacking and drinking meals disregards my desire to celebrate food while becoming healthy - nope.

• A program that counts each item eaten as assigned points then offers a total number of points to consume each day to reach one's weight loss goal. Finally, a program with real food. This weight loss system also has weekly meetings to motivate members to stick to their diet. Short-term success seems a reality with this program but again, I don't believe I will stick to the program long-term.

Nothing I find online fills my need to regain dignity by eating real food, prepared culinarily correct while changing the way I feel about food in a sustainable way. Because of these failures, I created "Dieting with Dignity," which provides a lifelong resource for one to become psychologically and physically healthy.

Dieting with Dignity has four tenets:

• Dignity is the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. When one loses dignity because of one's negative self-image, that person becomes mentally and physically unhealthy.

• Discovering the psychological reason for unhealthy eating then changing unhealthy thoughts and motivation into healthy behavior is paramount to a dignified life.

• Regaining a healthy understanding of eating by teaching proper nutrition, the culinary arts and developing a positive relationship with food offers a tool chest of options when choosing healthy alternatives to unhealthy foods.

• Adults should play like a child. Moving one's body in playful motion creates a healthy body that wishes to continue to play ensuring continued health.

This is not a weight loss program but a successful way of living. On dietingwithdignity.com, one finds motivation and tools necessary to become emotional and physically healthy. These tools include:

• Cooking School - this webpage offers videos teaching proper culinary technique and recipe preparation.

• Therapy - each week I explore the psychological reasons a person overeats and offer psychoeducational therapy to motivate one to become mentally healthy.

• Recipe of the Week - view healthy and tasty meal options the professional chef or novice cook can prepare at home.

• Daily Play - the reader learns to become healthy by exploring ways to move one's body in play.

I plan to take this journey with the reader. On this site, I offer my weight loss goal, my weekly achievements and explore my mental wellness. The reader learns about the science and psychology of living a healthy life, is offered motivation and taught how to prepare food like a chef. Click on the site and enjoy the ride.

Bill Rutherford is a psychotherapist, public speaker, elementary school counselor, adjunct college psychology instructor and executive chef, and owner of Rutherford Education Group. Please email him at bprutherford@hotmail.com or visit www.dietingwithdignity.com.