Working on the copy desk makes you less inclined to be mesmerized by any story that comes across the Associated Press wire. You read through so many that sometimes it looks like code on the wall of "The Matrix" at times.

But one recent article had me riveted.

AP writer Seth Borenstein recently wrote about some new experiments that show rats can demonstrate compassion and help each other out of bad situations.

In the research, 23 of the 30 rats tested freed a trapped rat in their cage "even when yummy chocolate served as a tempting distraction."

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The article went on to say that the rats had the chance to gobble up the food before freeing their counterparts, but most often that didn't happen.

"Basically they told us (freeing another rat) is as important as eating chocolate," study author Peggy Mason of the University of Chicago told the AP. "That's a very striking thing."

Another finding of the study showed that female rats were consistently more empathetic than males. All six females freed a rat in their cage, while only 17 of 24 males set their buddies free.

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I guess I got caught up in the fact that an animal would give a darn about another animal's predicament, especially when food is readily available as not only a distraction but a possible source of feuding as to who gets the treat when two have to fight for it.

I can tell you it's every man (and woman) for themselves when food is presented in the newsroom. And I wouldn't bet my life on it that someone would free me from a cage before snatching the last wedge of pizza or the last enchilada. Actually, I'd bet quite a bit on the opposite happening.

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Food not only sustains all animal life, but it's a powerful distraction and source of comfort as well. Just ask all those first-timers that head to the gym early this month as part of their New Year's resolution.

So when I read that rats (which I always picture with a piece of cheese in their paws nibbling away or swimming in New York sewers) shun food to help out their fellow vermin, it makes me feel a little selfish.

And knowing that ALL the females eschewed (and not chewed) the chocolate before freeing their mates, makes me dumbfounded. I know lots of women (won't name them - I like all the features of my face just where they are, thank you) who would throw a stiffarm to garner the last morsel from the Whitman's Sampler.

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I'm just wondering if they had tempted the male rats with pepperoni pizza instead of chocolate, would the test have finished differently?

Guys have always been the hunters, and as such, they tend to eat their quarry to sustain the energy to hunt again. Freeing the competition to "compete" for food makes no sense to me.

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I guess what I am getting at is that I really don't understand the social hierarchy of vermin, not that that's surprising. But I do know people.

When my twin brother and I were in high school, playing whatever sport was in season, together we'd dust off a two-pound chub of hamburger (cooked of course), a tub of cottage cheese and a mound of vegetables at each meal. Luckily we had a ranch that supplied the beef, or we'd have been quite a bit less muscular.

The point is, had a bomb gone off somewhere in the house, the two of us would still be in power-consumption mode in the dining room, hoping to procure the last remnants of sustenance.

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So please understand: If I see you in a cage with a wedge of pizza nearby, just know you'll be waiting until I devour it, crust and all, before your confinement will end.

But I will let you out - unless I see the delivery box nearby...

When he and his co-workers are not chowing down in the newsroom, Jerry Hitchcock is a copy editor for The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176 Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected].