The last time Roxanne Wadman of Lakeside spoke to her daughter Alicia "Lisa" Sherman was during a phone call on Dec. 15.

Lisa assured her mother, as she always did, that she was fine.

But two days later Roxanne and her husband Jay got an early-morning call from a Utah police detective, saying their daughter had been badly beaten and was not expected to live. Lisa's boyfriend of eight years, Dan Folsom, was jailed after police found him at the couple's home, drunk and still covered in her blood.

The Wadmans cut short their Hawaiian vacation and immediately flew to Salt Lake City where Lisa, 46, was barely clinging to life after two surgeries to cut away part of her skull and remove blood clots. She lay in an intensive care unit, paralyzed on her left side, with a broken nose and jaw. Both hands were broken. There was massive bruising.

Roxanne can't shake that last image of her daughter, unrecognizable because of her injuries. On Dec. 19, with no hope of recovery, she gave the nod for hospital staff to take Lisa off life support.

TODAY THE Wadmans will begin their journey to Murray, Utah, just outside Salt Lake City, to plan Lisa's funeral.

"It's been difficult for everyone," Roxanne said. "There's a lot of anger."

After Lisa died, prosecutors amended the charges against Folsom, 49, to murder.

Roxanne has taken up the torch to tell everyone she can about domestic violence and how destructive it can be. In her case, such violence killed her daughter.

"My whole thought process is that I want people to know what he did to her," she said. "She was beat to death. Domestic violence is not pretty."

And it's a crime that remains misunderstood.

"People are ignorant," Roxanne said. "Some say she must have liked [the violence] because she stayed with him."

It's just not that simple.

LISA MOVED to Utah from Rock Springs, Wyo., many years ago to be closer to her first stepfather, who had enrolled in an Alcoholics Anonymous program in Murray. Lisa, too, joined AA and began working at an AA club as a cook. She met Folsom at the club.

"There was a certain amount of love" in the relationship, Roxanne said. "It didn't start out this bad. It just ended this bad."

Lisa's personality as a caregiver and people-pleaser played right into Folsom's domineering ways.

"She was smiley and happy, a hard worker," her mother recalled. "It was important that everyone around her be happy."

It's difficult to know at what point the relationship turned volatile, Roxanne said. There were other beatings and other textbook symptoms of domestic abuse, such as Folsom's maneuvering to isolate Lisa from her family.

"Dan didn't have anything to do with the family," Roxanne recalled, adding she met him maybe twice during those eight years. Whenever she and Jay, Lisa's second stepfather, would visit, Folsom would not join in.

"I THINK EVERYONE in the family tried to help her, to get her away," Roxanne said.

She pleaded with her daughter to leave Folsom. So did Lisa's sister and two brothers who all live in Wyoming.

In spring 2011 the Wadmans moved Lisa to their Lakeside home, but in just three months she went back to Utah.

"He called every day saying ‘I love you, I miss you, I'll get counseling...'" Roxanne said. "He was real controlling. He'd always convince her it was her fault. It's all a control issue. They take over their mind."

The Wadmans bought her a pickup truck as part of their quest to free Lisa from Folsom, but when they arrived in Salt Lake City after the fatal attack, the truck was nowhere to be found. They believe Folsom probably sold it because it gave Lisa too much independence and the ability to escape if she needed to.

THE WADMANS say they likely will never know exactly what prompted the final, brutal attack on Lisa. She crawled to a neighbor's house and found the strength to bang on the door to get help, saying her boyfriend had hit her repeatedly and was "out of control."

Lisa was so bloodied and battered the neighbor didn't recognize her, Roxanne said.

Her daughter was conscious only for a short time after that and started failing during the ambulance ride to the hospital. She never regained consciousness.

The Wadmans were struck by the kindness of the Murray police detectives who kept watch outside Lisa's hospital room around the clock those four days.

"They were so caring and compassionate, absolutely first class," Jay said.

In addition to arranging Lisa's memorial service, the Wadmans later will have to deal with the court proceedings for Folsom.

UTAH ALLOWS the death penalty, but Roxanne is adamant that he own up to what he did for the rest of his life.

"I say absolutely not to the death penalty. That would be too easy," she said. "I want him to wake up every day and realize what he did.

"Every day I have to live with the fact of how she died," Roxanne added. "It's a senseless death."

What the Wadmans are left with is the mission to tell people about domestic violence.

In at least 22 of the 39 homicides in Utah last year, the victim was killed by a relative, boyfriend, roommate or caretaker. The director of the Utah Domestic Violence Council was quoted in press reports following Lisa's death, saying there had been "a very disturbing increase in domestic violence-related deaths."

"It's out there and it's a serious problem," Roxanne said. "People should call 911 if they hear something going on, not go into another room and close the blinds."

In Flathead County the Violence Free Crisis Line provides a 24-hour crisis telephone line, emergency shelter in safe homes and prevention education for domestic abuse situations. The Abbie Shelter at an undisclosed Kalispell location offers a safe environment for victims of violence who are fleeing their homes and need a safe place to stay. People needing help or shelter due to domestic violence should call the hotline 752-7273.

Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by email at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com.