Smelling less like a man
Jerry Hitchcock | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 12 years, 10 months AGO
I guess it had to happen.
Something as non-macho as a candle is now being targeted at adult males.
Nothing is sacred these days, after all. It all started going downhill when everybody started getting Facebook and Twitter accounts, and now the masses - both male and female - can share their feelings and the trials and tribulations of daily life whenever they, ahem, "feel" like it.
So now we are hit with the marketing that we smell bad, and Yankee Candle has the solution.
Their collection has four scents for now: Man Town, First Down, Riding Mower and 2 X 4.
Housed in the same containers their regular candles occupy, the company says these testosterone-oozing hunks of hot wax are designed for, as the company website puts it "the basement, garage, man cave or an entire bachelor pad."
The company, it reads on the website, was looking for scents its male clientele (?) can better relate to.
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Here's how Yankee Candle describes its creations:
Man Town
"Escape to the man cave with this masculine blend of spices, woods and musk."
Riding Mower
"Hot sun. Cool breeze. And the intensely summery scent of freshly cut grass."
2 X 4
"The warm, unmistakable scent of freshly planed wood and sawdust evokes a sense of confidence and quality."
First down
"Game on! This combination of orange, patchouli, vetiver and leather is as exciting as game day."
For your information, vetiver is a perennial grass native to India, and patchouli is a bushy herb of the mint family. You know: Stuff every guy should know.
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My guess is these candles will sell - to women who will pass them to their men as novelty gifts. I just don't see too many North Idaho guys going candle shopping on a Saturday afternoon.
I have to say, as a man, I can't think of many scents that I am surrounded by that would make me want to go buy an identical wax-and-wick set.
Let's face it - guys get down and dirty. Unless you're some metrosexual that looks and smells like he came out of a Gentlemen's Quarterly ad, you probably don't get many compliments on the olfactory ambiance around you.
•••
I gotta admit, my own man cave can be a little hard on the nose these days. I have all my workout clothes in there, and the little pop-up type air fresheners I use tend to dent the smell just enough to make it livable.
•••
I can think of a few realistic scents, but I know if put into candle form, they would sell like ice in Antarctica (or pine needles in North Idaho). Here we go - real man scents:
• End-of-the-day work gloves
• Badly-in-need-of-a-tuneup Toro lawn mower exhaust
• Mucked-up rain gutter
• Pile of moist fall leaves
• Can't-get-the-oil-pan-drain-plug-back-in fingers
•••
I can bet Yankee Candle won't be mining this column for ideas to expand their products. Whatever new scent they come up with, there's really only one appropriate name they can use:
Forever Funky.
Jerry Hitchcock showers daily before working as a copy editor at The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at jhitchcock@cdapress.com.
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