"Happy Father's Day Gramps," Quin giggles handing me a card she created with glitter, glue and a carefully written, "I love you," on the cover. This card is important. Her handmade gift does not represent the shallow, commercialization of a made-up Hallmark holiday. It represents the love of a little kid for her grandfather. I place the card in the T-shirt drawer of my dresser and discover cards placed there years before from my daughter Heather, Quin's mom.

Reading cards from my daughter's youth touches my heart. A card written when she was 10 describes the reasons she loves me. "I love you because you're a great dad, for not getting divorced with my mom, because you taught me how to play rummy and because you can always make me laugh. I love you because you take me trick-or-treating, you made me an only child, for being with me at my surgery and I love you for making me, me." These words remind me that the acts we do when our children are young, creates the child's character as an adult.

I read another card written by my daughter as an adult. The computer generated cover is filled with pictures of my daughter as a child and me. Walking in the woods, holding my daughter in my lap with all of her stuffed animal friends, staring out the living room window waiting for her grandparents to visit our home in South Dakota and opening Christmas packages floods my mind with memories of how little and helpless my now confident, 28-year-old daughter was.

Inside the card Heather writes, "Thank you for always being there for me. You're the greatest. Well, this year I've realized that when I was younger I kind of neglected you on Father's Day. However, this year I hope to make up for all the others!" Ties, slippers and coffee mugs offered as gifts are quickly forgotten while these handmade, thoughtful gifts will live forever in my T-shirt drawer and in my heart.

Father's Day is not about things, it's about people. This Father's Day I plan to feed my family my famous banana muffins, go for an adventure in the mountains of Idaho and finish the day with a barbecue of grilled meat and vegetables. I offer this recipe of banana muffins to share with your family on Father's Day.

Banana Bread or Muffins

This recipe is borrowed from one of my favorite cookbooks, "Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen." Makes 2 loaves or 1 dozen muffins.

2 cups (about 3 large) well-mashed overripe bananas

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

3/8 pound (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

3 tablespoons buttermilk (or a mixture of 3 tablespoons milk and 1/2 teaspoon vinegar which has been set out for 1 hour).

1 cup coarsely chopped pecans, dry roasted

1 cup dried cranberries (optional)

In a large bowl combine the bananas, sugar and eggs with a spoon until well blended. Gradually add the butter, mixing well. Stir in the flour and baking soda until well mixed and creamy. Stir in the buttermilk, and then fold in the pecans and cranberries.

For the bread: Spoon batter into two 8 1/2-by-4 1/2-inch greased loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, then reduce heat to 300 degrees and bake until dark brown and cooked through, about 45 minutes. Remove from pan immediately and cool on a wire rack about 30 minutes before serving.

For the muffins: Spoon batter into 12 greased muffin cups (they will be very full). Bake at 300 degrees until dark brown and done, about 65 minutes. Let sit for about 5 minutes, then remove from pan and cool as directed for the bread.

Bill Rutherford is a elementary school principal, psychotherapist, executive chef and owner of Rutherford Education Group. Please email him at [email protected].