I, for one am glad the Internet didn't exist when I was growing up.

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There are more than a few things I did that I am glad will never grace the computer screen via YouTube.

Nowadays, teens and 20-somethings with their ever-present cell phones are ready to make you an instant, infamous star if you screw up in the presence of them, your follies soon to be plastered on the Internet for all to see.

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My worst faux-paux (that I admit to) was motorcycling with friends in the Missouri River Breaks when I ended up with a backside full of cactus.

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The day started off quite well, as we all meandered down to the river through a canyon and munched on some lunch while we scavenged around. Indian arrowheads and other such artifacts were once in abundance in the area, so you never knew what you might unearth.

On the way back up, we had to constantly "wheelie" our bikes and bounce them up the washouts in the canyon to move back to the top. Unfortunately, I misjudged one washout about halfway to the summit and fell backward, pushing myself clear from the cycle, which was set to squash me like a grape.

Thinking I had escaped with all my physical capabilities intact, I made ready for my contact with terra firma. Ouch.

I had made firm contact with a patch of prickly pear cactus, right on the right side of the ol' derriere.

You can imagine the chuckling that commenced once everyone realized I was no worse for the wear, except for a few stickers sticking out from behind.

And I am not sure what was worse: Grabbing each sticker and yanking it back out, or listening to the heckling coming from the peanut gallery.

So I say it again: I'm happy YouTube was not in existence then, since the video would have added to the story told the next week at school.

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But I will admit, YouTube is great for keeping in touch with the things you love. Got a favorite band that isn't touring anywhere near the Northwest? For sure there are plenty of videos uploaded (everything from professional quality to drunk-guy-with-his-cell-camera) of the latest show that you can access to your toe-tapping content.

Want to share a video with friends and family far away? Just upload and they can enjoy from the comfort of their own home.

Do you care to know what total strangers think about (enter current hot topic or person here)? Good luck sifting through the thousands of results.

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I still don't carry a cell phone on a regular basis, and unless my daughter decides to make me an Internet sensation sometime in the near future when I do something "memorable," I should come out of this life relatively unscathed and relatively unknown.

Oh, and by the way, my backside healed years ago, just in case you were wondering.

Jerry Hitchcock no longer rides motorcycles up canyons, but is a copy editor for The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at jhitchcock@cdapress.com.