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Summer Movies Assemble!

Tyler Wilson | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 12 years, 8 months AGO
by Tyler Wilson
| May 4, 2012 9:15 PM

The biggest collection of superheroes ever assembled makes "The Avengers" the official kickoff to the summer movie season of 2012. By August, you may not want to see another superhero movie ever again.

"The Avengers" is really the opening act to "The Dark Knight Rises," opening on July 20, and a "Spider-man" reboot (already?) will be sprinkled in between. You can also expect a few well-dressed men, Pixar's first heroine, and a movie that explains human existence (or at least the origin of those "Alien" face suckers).

Here's a rundown of the highlights, all graded with our patented Must See Score (MSS) out of 10. And for a break from all the explosions, keep an eye out for a few Indie Standouts.

May 11

Dark Shadows

Johnny Depp and director Tim Burton unite again for this update of the '60s vampire TV series. It looks like a tongue-in-cheek adaptation, if that's your kind of thing. MSS: 7

May 18

Battleship

It's the board game crossed with Transformers-like aliens. With any luck, it will only be half as stupid as it sounds. MSS: 4

The Dictator

"Borat" star Sacha Baron Cohen plays an insane dictator forced to learn the American way in this sure-to-be controversial comedy. MSS: 6

What to Expect When You're Expecting

I've read this book, and there's not a single page of Chris Rock comedy routine. MSS: 4

May 25

Men in Black 3

Will Smith goes back in time to save the world in this sequel that didn't have a finished script halfway through filming. Always a good sign. MSS: 6

Indie Standout

Moonrise Kingdom

The latest comedy from filmmaker Wes Anderson ("The Royal Tenenbaums") focuses on a young boy and girl who run away together and cause a town-wide panic.

June 1

Snow White and the Huntsman

An action-adventure spin on the fairy tale starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron. MSS: 7

June 8

Prometheus

The mysterious science-fiction project from director Ridley Scott follows a team of scientists exploring an alien race that could be the link to all existence of life. The film is rumored to be a prequel of sorts to the original "Alien." Whatever it is, all unearthed footage has been spectacular. MSS: 10

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Expect the penguins to steal the show (again). MSS: 5

June 15

Rock of Ages

The classic-rock musical gets a big screen treatment, with Tom Cruise belting out some tunes. MSS: 7

That's My Boy

Adam Sandler is the wacko father to son Andy Samberg in a "comedy" that looks just as bad as "Jack & Jill." MSS: 2

June 22

Pixar hopes to rebound from last summer's "Cars 2" with this story of a Scottish princess who must muscle her way out of an ancient curse. MSS: 9

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Yep, this is where this annoying pop culture fascination with vampires has landed us. MSS: 4

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Steve Carell looks for his high school sweetheart in the days leading up to a giant asteroid colliding with Earth. It's a comedy, at least until the ending. MSS: 7

June 28

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

The Rock and Bruce Willis hope to remove the suck that was the first installment, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." MSS: 5

Magic Mike

Channing Tatum stars as a male stripper, if you're into that sort of thing. MSS: 5

Indie Standout

Beasts of the Southern Wild

This Sundance award winner focuses on a young girl in search of her mother after her father falls ill... and a species of prehistoric creatures rise to wreak havoc.

July 3

The Amazing Spider-man

Just 10 years after the first "Spider-man" movie comes a reboot that brings Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) back to high school to take on The Lizard. The previews haven't shown enough to justify a retelling of the origin story. MSS: 7

Savages

A sprawling drug epic from Oliver Stone, with an ensemble that includes Benicio Del Toro and John Travolta. MSS: 7

July 13

Ice Age: Continental Drift

Expect the squirrel to steal the show (again). MSS: 5

Mark Wahlberg shares adventures with his potty-mouth teddy bear in this comedy from Seth MacFarlane ("Family Guy"). MSS: 5

July 20

The Dark Knight Rises

Eight years have passed since the events of "The Dark Knight," and Gotham City faces a hulking terrorist by the name of Bane. Catwoman is also on the prowl in this trilogy capper that begs the question: Will Christopher Nolan actually kill Bruce Wayne? MSS: 10

July 27

Neighborhood Watch

Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill battle aliens with wisecracks. MSS: 5

Indie Standout

Ruby Sparks

A writer (Paul Dano) falls in love with the character he writes, then she suddenly appears in real life. From the directors of "Little Miss Sunshine."

Aug. 3

The Bourne Legacy

Jeremy Renner takes the reigns from Matt Damon in this spy thriller set within the world of the "Bourne" franchise. The movie adds Edward Norton and Rachel Weisz to make up for Damon's absence. MSS: 8

Total Recall

Remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi adventure finds Colin Farrell in a futuristic world where memories may not be memories and good-looking people may be spies. MSS: 6

Aug. 10

The Campaign

Will Ferrell and Zack Galifiankis are presidential rivals in a comedy that aims to make a mockery of the political system. Tall order. MSS: 7

Hope Springs

After 30 years of marriage, a couple (Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones) decide to see an unorthodox therapist (Steve Carell). MSS: 7

Aug. 17

ParaNorman

Stop-motion animated film about a boy who can speak to the dead. It comes in handy when his town is overrun with ghouls. MSS: 6

The Expendables 2

More ridiculous action from Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Jet Li. Bonus! Jean Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris join the muscle mayhem! Van Damme in anything equals a Must See Score of 11. Obviously.

Ticket Stubs is sponsored by the Hayden Cinema Six Theater. Showtimes at www.HaydenCinema6.com. Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com. Read more reviews and pop culture commentary at www.NormdogEntertainment.com.

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