Goodbye Old Man Winter and hello spring. The Earth is alive again. Plants which lay dormant and look dead weeks before are blooming, the soil is beginning to warm and my hands are dirty. Weeding, planting, building flower beds and mowing green grass calms me. Dirt under my fingernails signifies my desire to feel alive, to feel humble and to feel loved. I love playing with Mother Nature but my busy life prevents me from enjoying the things I love.

I live a stressful life that is out of balance. Playing in the dirt calms me and is something I enjoy but I seldom allow myself time to do it. If these things are important, why do I choose to work instead of play? I've not done my part to control the stress in my life. The search for an exciting life with controllable stress is important to my mental wellness, but I allow uncontrollable stress to control my life.

Stress is important in life. Stress makes one perform at high levels in his or her profession, forces some to accomplish tasks to alleviate anxiety and offers excitement to an otherwise dull life but, stress needs to have an off switch. For many clients I work with, finding the "stress off switch" is impossible. I offer three "stress off switches" to examine. Before examining my off switches, one must agree to a few simple rules for alleviating stress. The rules are:

• Turn off technology - no cell phones, computers, iPods or iPads.

• If someone is going to participate in these activities with you, you need to be present. Talk, really listen, offer feedback, be agreeable (but you don't always have to agree) and value the other person's point of view. Remember, this is a time to relieve stress, not increase stress.

• Everyone needs to spend 15 minutes a day in their own head. Take a walk, listen to music, meditate, take a bike ride or just sit by yourself and think. Think of big life questions and simple life problems - what's for dinner, what do I wish to do for the rest of my life, do I like the person I am, do I need to stop at the store on my way home from work? Many people answer hundreds of questions a day in their work or home-life but seldom answer questions to make their own life easier or better.

Stress off switch No. 1 - working with my hands. Menial labor often offers the benefits of a psychotherapist without the cost. As the stress of the world becomes overwhelming and my brain becomes too full of information to think, I put on my worn Levis, holy T-shirt and flip-flops then head to the garden. The more I dig, the calmer I become. As I pull two dandelions from their roots, the stress from a difficult discussion with a coworker lightens. I prune dead limbs from a lodgepole pine tree and think how I might offer encouragement to a discouraged child. I mow the lawn and think how best to teach Piaget's stages of development to my college students. Working the land is not mindless work - I think best when working outside.

Stress off switch No. 2 - cooking. Preparing and providing nourishment for myself and the people I love is a basic need which satisfies my desire to survive. For this reason, food is important to my psychological health. Creating delicious food for my family creates a warm feeling deep inside my soul. When I cook I create. I read recipe books, search my garden or grocery for fresh products, learn new techniques from different cultures to prepare interesting meals and stretch my imagination to make delicious food. Cooking is communal. I get to explore the likes and dislikes of my family and guests and use my skills to create delicious culinary treats. As I cook, cut, wash and strain, stress leaves my body. My focus leaves the office and targets my food, "Is the heat right, did I caramelize the onions enough, how many tablespoons are in 1/4-cup?"

Stress off switch No. 3 - don't create a needlessly stressful life. Volunteering for numerous jobs or projects, enrolling our children in every camp or sports team and over-committing oneself causes huge stress in many American families. I am the poster child for creating stress. I naively and to my detriment believe one must take advantage of all professional opportunities presented. For this reason, I opened a psychotherapy private practice, teach classes at the local college, write this column, and am a school counselor, publicly speak, have a dieting website, volunteer for local boards and attempt to have a life.

This drive to achieve has taken a toll on my health. This past few years I've been diagnosed with more disorders and diseases than I have fingers. I understand that stress decreases one's immune system's ability to fight disease. I also understand that working 12-15 hours a day interferes with one's ability to eat healthy foods, sleep well and increases anxiety equating to diminished health.

If I understand the damage my needless stress has on my health and am seeing the result of that damage, why am I not changing my behavior? Why don't I take my own advice? The easy answer is; I love everything I do which makes quitting any one of them difficult. That being said, I also understand what the stress is doing to my body. I'm finally listening to my own advice. I closed my private practice, resigned my teaching position at the college, closed my website and plan to be very selective in the volunteer work I do. I accepted a position as the school principal at a local elementary school and will focus on only one job. When I'm not working, I will be in my garden, picking vegetables to cook in my kitchen for my family and friends. I decided to live with less stress.

Living an appropriately stressful and stress-free life must be done with purpose. After 30 years chasing my profession and attempting to achieve the American dream, I finally realize life is not a race. As the saying goes, "Doctor, heal thyself!" It is interesting that when I take a realistic view of my life using SMART goals (as I suggest in one of my past columns) I accept the change to live a life with manageable stress which creates my American dream. Sometimes our dreams are closer than we think; if we just look!

Bill Rutherford is a elementary school principal, psychotherapist, executive chef and owner of Rutherford Education Group. Please email him at brutherford@cdaschools.org.