I borrowed this one from a better columnist than I: Harvey Mackay.

On July 28 Mackay's syndicated column headline read, "Take pride in your work, not in yourself." What follows here is hardly original, but some things bear repeating.

As he mentioned, while the common connotation of the word "pride" is often seen as a positive thing (pride of country, being proud of your kids), its synonyms are less than complimentary: arrogance, egotism, self-centeredness. Mackay's point is well-taken; if we focus on what we do, rather than our perceived virtues, that is a better source for pride.

I'd take it further. Focusing on our deeds and words, rather than what we think of ourselves or want others to think, is healthier. By shifting self-image away from adjectives ("smart" or "stupid;" "pretty" or "ugly;" "likable" or "boring") and letting it rest in actions - which we can better control - we can also be happier.

As a species, humanity gets way too hung up on image. That does more harm than good. It also tends to waste time and degrade relationships.

When happiness is dependent on self-focused adjectives, especially if related to others' perceptions (real or imagined), one is less in control. The result is a feeling of helplessness and thus, weakness; things "happen to" us and things "make" us feel (insert adjective here). Lack of control - the basis of insecurity - is never the preferred state.

We can't control others, only ourselves. Mental habits are hard to break, and living in repetitive thoughts in our heads tends to drag us more down than up. Sure; over time one can replace bad thoughts with good; but meanwhile, focusing on acts works wonders.

And adds that element of immediate control.

Somehow, focusing on tasks provides a faster fix to a poor self-image. Accomplish a task, even a small one like organizing a drawer or mopping a floor, and somehow you feel better. You've DONE something. You took control. Put smaller tasks together toward a goal (career focus, learning a new skill, research on more effective parenting or communication, even typing speed or a newly mastered recipe), and lasting confidence ratchets up in a hurry.

Better yet, you can constructively put pride in the task: I am a gourmet cook. I earned a promotion. I improved my home. My family argues less. I built a shed.

Next level up is focusing those tasks on others (at work, in community, a neighbor, a child), and confidence skyrockets. Why? Because when we help or positively affect someone else (even as simple as lifting another's mood), we have proof we are useful to society, play a role in the universe. Evidence that one's existence makes a difference makes anyone happy. And here's the beauty: That's something over which we have control.

A great side effect of these accomplishments: We don't feel so melancholy or self-absorbed. Dare I say, happy? So when you feel down, "do." Do anything constructive however small, but just do.

Another definition of pride? "A feeling of pleasure in one's own accomplishments."

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at sholeh@cdapress.com.