Most people say that the winter holiday season is the most joyful time of the year. It can also be one of the most stressful times. Some people experience sadness and loneliness during the holidays and for those who have recently lost a loved one, a relationship, or a job, this time of year can be very painful. The onslaught of media images of supernaturally happy people effortlessly buying vast piles of expensive goodies (and getting triple miles) can make you feel like an underachiever.

Couples are in for special holiday stress treats. Financial pressures are huge this time of year, even without the current economic and employment challenges. While most couples have developed a formula for spending time with different branches of the family tree, making it work can create plenty of tension. This is especially true for blended families that have complicated obligations. Women are particularly vulnerable to holiday stress; they overwhelmingly bear the majority of the burden for shopping, cooking and orchestrating celebrations. If a couple is already struggling in their relationship, putting a happy face on the holidays can be a real challenge.

Couples can do some things to take some of the edge off. Make a holiday plan together and talk about money, gifts, schedule, and doing the best thing for the kids. If you are in a rough patch, declare a truce and agree to do your best to put conflict issues on the back burner until after the New Year. Watch out for excessive eating and drinking, and do your best to minimize disruption of sleep schedules. Even though it's harder to keep up with exercise, try to sneak in some short walks or mini-workouts. Don't fall prey to Martha Stewart Syndrome. It's not perfect planning and all the stuff that counts. It's the special time with family and friends that makes the holidays meaningful.

Stephen Gajewski MS, JD, LPC, LLC provides individual and couples counseling, specializing in mind body health and medicine, mindfulness, stress management and reduction, career counseling and coaching, work-life balance, and adult ADHD. He also specializes in helping clients deal with issues surrounding chronic pain and disease. Contact him at (208) 640-3323 or www.sgajskillc.com.