We receive gifts at all times of the year

I remember waking up at five on Christmas morning as a 4-year-old excited to see if I made Santa's good list. Still wearing slipper-socks and pajamas unwrapped the night before, I quietly peek from my bedroom door to see my sister sitting under our Christmas tree. Waking earlier than I, she plugs in the tree lights and stares at the multicolored glass bulbs sparkling on the tree. I quietly sit next to her and am mesmerized by the twinkle of the glass bulbs that redirect their light to the shiny paper and ribbon under the evergreen. We look at each other and smile. For this memory, I am thankful.

Standing at the altar of the Tuolumne Methodist Church with my best friend and best man James, I wait in anticipation as my fiancee prepares to walk down the isle of the church. Rush's "Broon's Bane" plays on an acoustic guitar as my fiancee links arms with her father. The double doors of the parsonage open and the guests react with "aws" and tears as my beautiful wife begins her journey to my side. Halfway through the ceremony it begins to rain. The pounding of the storm on the tin roof is so loud it becomes difficult to hear the minister. My wife and I look into each other's eyes and smile. For this memory, I am thankful.

The maternity nurse warns me to quickly leave the surgery if my child is in stress so the doctors can save her life. I decide to stay no matter what happens. Standing in the operating room, combing my wife's hair with my fingers I look over the sheet separating my wife's head from her body to see the surgeon gently raise my screaming daughter from my wife's midsection. The doctor declares, "This girl has healthy lungs, do you want to cut the cord?" I take three snips with the scissors as tears roll down my face.

A nurse cleans the body of our new family member, places her in a bassinet and asks if I wish to walk with her to the nursery. I accept the offer and on our journey the nurse laughs, "Looks like you have yourself a redhead. She's going to be full of fire." I reply, "I hope so!" Again, I am thankful for this moment.

Giving and accepting thanks feels good. I can remember vividly, important thankful experiences from my past while struggling to accept thanks from those who offer it. Being humble, unworthy, self-deprecating, embarrassed or egocentric often prevents one from accepting the kindness.

I am learning the gift of accepting gratitude. I feel a warm fuzzy feeling in my belly when a person offers a thank you but have dismissed the offer in the past as being unworthy of the offer. Now I understand the thank you is as important for the messenger as it is for the intended receiver. If a person offers a gift, kind words or gratitude, it is often offered from the heart and if not graciously received, the sender feels unfulfilled.

As I receive gifts this Christmas morning I will think more of the giver than of myself and will accept each gift with gratitude. I will pray for the health and future of the child who has no gift this Christmas and will smile sharing gifts with people who love me. For this, I am thankful.

Send comments or other suggestions to Bill Rutherford at [email protected].