There are a million websites (OK, probably not a million, but a plethora, all right?) about the rules for dudes. You know - man rules.

Some make sense. Some try to defend the male gender's indiosyncracies. Some look to degrade non-males. Some just exist for their humorous content.

My favorite site for the male code is www.i-am-bored.com/28rulesofmanhood.html. It harbors some great insight into what make us guys tick, and what ticks us off.

Such as:

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

Really - you're a guy, not the Wicked Witch of the West. A little aqua won't melt you. Buck up, bro.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) After wrecking your boss's car.

(c) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game."

3. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

- I would interject that if said friend failed to bail you out of jail once, then you bear no such obligation.

4. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

- If you don't know, don't ask. Just pick a side and root like hell.

5. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

- I've already probably left a mental image, so I'll leave this one alone.

6. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

- True, we do have some semblance of maturity, fleeting as it may be!

Here are a few more that I've found:

Dudes don't ride scooters. Ever.

- If it doesn't have a throaty exhaust sound, stay away!

Dudes don't order drinks for themselves with little paper umbrellas.

- Whatever the social situation, if you want to be considered a guy, here's a four-letter word for the waitress: B-E-E-R.

Dudes don't eat quiche.

- Well, I have to confess: I do like quiche, and I consider myself a guy, so let the record state I think this one is bunk.

I think for the most part, people can sift through all the hype and realize that being a guy is so much more than what you do or what you look like.

But it's sure fun to laugh at ourselves from time to time.

You can attempt to reach Jerry Hitchcock at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter at HitchTheWriter.