It's official: Voters can't stand the heat, turn to felines.

That's the way the announcement should have read as the makers of the board game Monopoly recently made the decision that the board game will receive a new token, while losing a less popular one.

In comes the cat, as voted on as being the most desired new token to prowl around such landmarks as Baltic Avenue and Park Place.

The kitty replaced the iron, which received the least amount of votes and thusly had been tossed in the recycling bin.

Much has been made of the irony (sorry, had to go there) about the token's irrelevance in the modern world, hence its imminent demise from the board.

That, my friends, is progress, as they call it. But if we are to that point, we may as well do away with some of the other iconic pieces.

The cat joins the race car, Scottie dog, top hat, shoe, thimble, wheelbarrow and battleship.

Out of that group, obviously the obsolete are the thimble and top hat - really, when is the last time you saw someone use one of those?

The wheelbarrow is still useful in real life, as is the battleship. The shoe token looks a little dated. It may need to be replaced by something that looks a tad more up to date, say, a Jimmy Choo pump.

I asked around, and everyone except me can remember playing the game with the battleship token. My group of friends growing up all had the game, and I don't ever remember that item being present. Strange ... maybe it was off protecting the country off some foreign coast.

I remember the race car always being fought over at the start of the game. Me, I didn't really care what token I had. As far as I was concerned, they were all human powered.

The original version of the game ( circa 1935) included a lantern, a purse, cannon and rocking horse. Yep, that meant if you had more than four people, they had to team up. Or find a temporary token. Hmm... maybe that is where the thimble came from...

But back to progress. If we really want to stay current with our Monopoly tokens, we need to ditch the whole lot and start new.

The brand-new hipster lineup will include:

* a cellphone (naturally)

* a Starbucks mug

* a Wii controller

* an e-car (maybe a Chevy Volt or Tesla Roadster)

* a TV remote

* a vampire (for all the Twilight fans to fight over)

* a UPS truck (can Brown win the game for you?)

* a Star Trek Enterprise (I know: It's an old show, but it has modern films in theaters, and besides, it's based in the future, remember?)

That's eight tokens. As Dick Van Patten once said, eight is enough. And he ought to know.

Stay tuned, because Parker Brothers will soon be unveiling an updated version with a game board that levitates.

Oops, I let the cat out of the bag. Oh, wait - that's already been done.

Jerry Hitchcock's strategy of owning one corner of the board usually backfired, but at least he tried. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected]