Diane DuBos didn't know what to do, when her daughter revealed she was in an abusive relationship.

Of course the family flew Sarah back home, Diane said.

But "after five minutes she went back," Diane said.

That followed with two more years of not knowing about her daughter's safety.

"You lay awake at night wondering, 'Is the sheriff going to call?'" the Coeur d'Alene woman said.

Even when Sarah finally left for good, that meant holing up with friends in different states for a year, to hide from her abuser.

Eight years later, Sarah still hasn't disclosed to Diane all the abuse that occurred.

"She probably figures I would kill the guy, if it would help her," the Coeur d'Alene woman said. "I would've considered that."

Diane absorbed harsh lessons in those years.

Like that domestic violence is hard to talk about. For victims, and their families, too.

And that many people lack the tools to help those trapped by abusers.

"I'm a bit of a control freak," Diane said. "I want to fix everything."

She hopes to start fixing something tonight.

In hopes of helping women who know too well what her daughter went through, Diane is presenting "Do Something to Stop the Violence."

The event tonight is intended to arm the public with knowledge, like warning signs of abusive situations, and how to use local resources to address such nightmares.

"You talk about domestic violence, child abuse, anything along those lines and people are absolutely outraged," Diane said. "OK, you're outraged. But what have you done to stop it?"

The free event, scheduled from 6:30 to 9 p.m. at Christ the King Lutheran Church, includes a screening of the documentary "Sin By Silence," about women imprisoned for killing their abusive husbands.

Speakers from local outreach organizations will also discuss resources for victims and the general public, to ensure abusive relationships don't have such dire endings.

"You have to empower them to make a choice," Diane said of abuse victims. "Their lives have been so controlled and manipulated, they forget how to do that."

The event speakers will include Camie Wereley from the North Idaho Violence Prevention Center, Bridget Eismann of the Post Falls Police Victims Assistance Unit, and Ginger Johnson with the Abuse Recovery Ministry and Services.

Domestic violence is more prevalent in North Idaho than most realize, Wereley said on Friday.

The region has tallied 92 sexual assaults since last July, she said. NIVPC has fielded 2,447 crisis hotline calls in the past year. The nonprofit sheltered 135 women and 94 children in that time.

The organization's court advocacy program saw more than 300 clients in the last year, she added, most seeking protection orders.

"So many families are affected by family violence," Wereley said, noting that while NIVPC serves all five northern counties, most clients are from Kootenai County. "The first step is changing the culture of violence, changing the way people view family violence. A lot of times, they blame the victim. Why don't they leave? We should be looking at the abuser. Why are they abusing?"

Doors at tonight's event open at 6 p.m. Christ the King Lutheran Church is located at 1700 Pennsylvania Ave. in Coeur d'Alene.

The presentation contains adult content and isn't suitable for children. Child care is available through reservation, by contacting Martha Hatch at 664-9231.

The community can help just by being observant, Diane said.

And knowing where to turn when someone is in desperate need.

"I think it's one of those things that nobody tends to talk about," she said of abuse. "Maybe it's because we can't wrap our heads around the fact that this actually occurs."

If you go

Do Something to Stop the Violence is scheduled from 6:30 to 9 tonight at Christ the King Lutheran Church in Coeur d'Alene. The free event includes a documentary screening and panel discussion on addressing domestic violence.