It's everywhere! Why, laments your Mrs. Language Person; oh why do so many suddenly err so stubbornly, and air it so publicly?

Yes, I've said it before; but needs must repeat. Plurals do not have an apostrophe. Plurals do not have an apostrophe. No apostrophes in plurals! Plurals - yes. Plural's - No, no, no! Apostrophes are for possessives (Bill's interview) and missing letters (it's a sad day), not for words indicating more than one (palm trees). Please tell your friends (but not friend's), mistaken merchants (not merchant's), and neighbors (definitely not neighbor's).

And now back to our regularly scheduled program: Homonyms.

A homonym is a word that sounds the same as another but has a different meaning, and is generally spelled differently. One reader asked Mrs. Language Person to address the homonyms "premier" - a synonym for first or foremost (adj.), or a head minister of state (n.) - and "premiere" - first performance (n.), or to present for the first time (v.). The French premier loves to attend a movie premiere; it's (note: apostrophe stands in for a missing "i") not the film, but the parade of well-dressed, young actresses (plural; no apostrophe) he so enjoys.

Other commonly misused homonyms include:

Capital (assets or large alphabetic character) and capitol (legislative building); but note that the seat of government in a state (e.g., Boise) is also the capital with an "a."

Born (birthed), bourne (a stream), and borne (carried or endured).

Cite (make reference to) and site (v., to position/locate or n., location, from Latin "situs," still occasionally used). Not to be confused with "sight." MLP cringed at the sight of her incorrectly corrected "citing" of a source, changed to the incorrect "site" before publication. (MLP disclaims!)

Affect (v. to influence) and effect (n., a consequence or v., to bring about change). MLP's goal is to effect change in American English habits. Whether her writings affect readers is unknown; her columns may have no effect. (Note: MLP prefers not to create confusion with the very different and less common noun, "affect," which can also mean emotion.)

Principal (adj., most important or n. chief/leader) and principle (belief).

Complement (v., to enhance; go together) and compliment (praise).

Chili is the stew; Chile is the country (pronounced, "chee-lay")

Precedence (higher ranking), president (leader), and precedent (that which came before).

Speaking of which and that, here's a promised tip to help you know which: That limits. Let me repeat: If it limits, that's it (not which). The car that is red is mine. The red car, which is in the garage, is mine. "That" is for restrictive clauses, e.g., "that is red." "Which" explains or adds, e.g., "which is in the garage" ("which one?" notwithstanding). My car is red and thus couldn't be green, so use "that;" restrictively. The car could be in the driveway or street, so use "which," e.g., in the garage. Think of which as whichy-washy, unrestrictive. "That" is restrictive.

Finally, while not a homonym, "use" (as verb) bears mention. Your MLP can not become used to the frequently misstated "use to," even in commercially published novels (for shame!). One may use words in combination or become used to (accustomed to) a phrase, but "use to" is simply unacceptable. Why? "Used" indicates a past element. "I used to drink coffee" occurred in the past, so "use" is incorrect. To become used to something includes the past element of not having been accustomed before (but now that has changed - note again "changed" indicating the past element).

Make sense? Not cents, you may note.

Sholeh Patrick is a nerdy columnist obsessed with the lamentable loss of respect for language. Why do so few seem to care? To commiserate or correct her mistakes, email sholehjo@hotmail.com.