"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." "Don't complain unless you're willing to offer solutions." "If not you, then who?" These cliches are often offered when one searches for a person to take action for change. Today, I am that person. I am asking, pleading for you to accept this challenge to participate in important social change.

Many talk of the destructive force bullying has on a child, community and on our county but one seldom knows what action to take to stop the destruction. The Coeur d'Alene School District is taking action but needs the help of our community to be successful.

As a reminder, bullying comes in many forms including physical assault, intimidation, Internet, cell phone and texting harassment (cyberbullying), unrelentless teasing and threats. The victim of a bully might lose her integrity, feel unsafe, question her life's purpose and often becomes withdrawn and anxious.

Dan Olweus, provides this commonly accepted definition for bullying in his book, "Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do." "A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, oftentimes repeatedly, to negative actions and has difficulty defending oneself." This definition includes three important components.

* Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.

* Bullying most-often involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.

* Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

On Sept. 30 of this year our community met at the Kroc Center to "Stand Up, Speak Up" to stop bullying. More than 125 community members met to discuss the work the school district is doing and to determine, "What can the community do to 'Stand Up, Speak Up' against bullying?"

During this event, the community identified numerous items to work on to further the cause. These items include:

* Provide a method to educate parents on the terms of bullying, how to talk with kids about bullying and how to use the media and technology to get the anti-bullying message out to the community.

* Reaching out to community clubs, sport groups, organizations and faith groups to create anti-bullying programs and training.

* Encourage positive community activities to empower students to make good choices when encountering bullying and offer prosocial activities to create conscientious citizens.

* Enlist students to stop this threat which affects children the most.

Now that our community has identified the work to do, it is time for action. On Dec. 4 at Fernan Elementary School our work continues. Please join me and others to put into action the needs identified. We will meet from 5:30-6:30 p.m. (longer if needed) and break into action teams to "Stand Up, Speak Up" against bullying.

I strongly encourage people of all ages, children, community groups and social change agents to participate in this important work. Complaining and griping about the devastating effects of bullying is a waste of breath. I support using our words for positive change. Please join us on Dec. 4 to work toward a positive change in our community.

If you wish to comment or offer suggestions, please email Bill Rutherford at bprutherford@hotmail.com.