I'm gonna do it.

Somewhere, somehow, by the time this column is done, I'm gonna get your goose.

To be fair, the common expression is actually "if I get caught, my goose is cooked."

Apparently, this term came to popularity centuries ago, when the king of Sweden, Eric, instructed his army to an outlying province, hoping to rein in an uprising.

Eric's council did not support the action, basically because they believed the army to be outnumbered. When the rebels learned of the army's imminent arrival, they hung a large goose up as a joke for the army to shoot at (the inside joke being that Eric was quite fond of geese).

Apparently, the target practice served the army well, because they emerged victorious, and the rebels surrendered. Part of the terms of the surrender involved said goose being sent to the king, who cooked it himself, eating it with great satisfaction.

The rebel's plan backfired, hence the phrase, to cook your own goose.

You can also cook someone else's goose, meaning you have the ability to spoil someone else's plans, or rain on their parade.

This is the time of year in North Idaho when seemingly you can look to the sky at any given time and see a flock of Canada geese assembling and heading to more tropical climes to the south. The ensuing honking can be heard for miles.

One of my dad's favorite terms (after someone broke wind) was "Gee, the geese are flying low this year." It took me a few years to not automatically look to the sky, thinking I was again too late to see the graceful birds in formation.

If you were in Europe in the early 1940s, the sight of soldiers goose-stepping was not something you wanted to see, as Hitler's nazi army was breathing down your neck.

Being in the presence of something that really strikes your fancy (or terrifies you greatly) can lead to goosebumps (also called goose pimples). If you've ever seen a plucked goose, you'll know where this term came from.

One term I've never really understood is "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." Apparently that is meant to say that whatever the husband or boyfriend does, the wife or girlfriend should be equally entitled to that activity or status. Maybe we are far enough removed from male chauvinism for this to even be relevant anymore.

Another goose term has nothing to do with our fine feathered friends. Sneaking up behind someone and giving a fingered surprise is referred to as "goosing" someone. This has also morphed into the "Christmas goose," when you surprise someone during the holiday season.

Now the real Christmas goose needs no introduction. He always gets a reserved spot at the center of the dinner table, sitting there all golden skinned and looking tasty, a steamy wisp of baked perfection permeating the dining room.

Is it December yet? I'm hungry ...

You can attempt to reach Jerry Hitchcock at 664-8176, Ext. 2017, or via email at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter at HitchTheWriter.