Do middle-schoolers care that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ranks Montana third in the nation for suicide as the leading cause of death?

Lisa Zug would say no. Zug spoke during Flathead CARE’s “Risky Behavior and Suicide Prevention” parent workshop on Thursday in Kalispell. She is the Safe House director at Western Montana Mental Health Center.

“They don’t care what percentages, they truly don’t,” Zug said in talking about parents discussing suicide, drugs, alcohol or sex prevention with their children.

Zug broached alternatives on how parents can communicate, relate and support adolescents during times of crisis.

 One way she explains the seriousness of suicide to pre-teens and teens is a more approachable way through stories or visuals. 

“If this is birth,” she said, raising her left hand slightly, “and this is death, and you’re right here,” she said pointing somewhere in between.

“There’s this enormous section of life ahead of you and to forfeit that because of a pending crisis? I’d be hard pressed to know what crisis here is worth forfeiting this and they will be, too.”

The workshop was an effort to raise awareness during Suicide Prevention Month.

Zug’s recommended plan of action for parents is a method she called “say it, be it, find it.”

“Say it out loud. You are not going to give them the idea of suicide. They either have it, or they don’t. They will categorically deny it if they don’t. If they are going to, you’ll get hesitation, or a yes — and it’s OK — you’re standing right there with them,” Zug said.

Zug said “be it” means that a parent or guardian should be part of a support team to help a child considering suicide.

“You don’t have a Superman cape for a reason,” Zug said. “So find other reasonable adults to step in and help.”

“Find it” is an important part of the process in deterring an adolescent from suicide.

“Find their minimum reason to life,” Zug said. “If it’s their cat Fluffy, or that dance that Kara’s throwing next week, go with it. That is the one thing between them and a completed suicide, so the things you think are important, the hope you’d like to give them or the facts you’d like to read to them are not as valuable as the one thing that is their deterrent.”

Relating to a middle-schooler is one area that may be more difficult for adults. At that stage in life, youth are learning how to respond to new situations.

“We have a toolbox. The older we get the more tools we have. They have three or four in their toolbox. They’ll try four of five things — if doesn’t resolve the situation they recycle it. We want to pull them out of their box and give them more tools,” Zug said.

What may be unimportant to an adult can become a crisis for pre-teens and teens.

“You got an ‘F’ on a test and were kicked off the football team. You lost your best friend, or your girlfriend was seen kissing captain wonderful in the hall, it doesn’t matter. Those things would fly right by us because we’ve already gone by once. We’ve handled a few things. They’re handling it for the first time,” Zug said.

Zug concluded by stressing the importance of empowering pre-teens and teens and helping them master a talent, interest or skill so they have a sense of self-worth.

It needs to be a tangible skill, not simply that they’re wonderful or beautiful because they are their parent’s child.

“Kids need a ‘thing,’” Zug said.

Resources

Helpnet: 752-8181

Local crisis line: 752-6262

Pathways: 756-3950

National Suicide Line: 1-800-273-8255

Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services: prevention.mt.gov/suicideprevention/

Reporter Hilary Matheson may be reached at 758-4431 or by email at [email protected].