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Black Beauty is a caffeine fiend

Herald Columnist | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 10 years, 7 months AGO
by Herald ColumnistDENNIS. L. CLAY
| April 18, 2014 6:00 AM

So there I was, minding my own business, when...

An overbearing urge to walk to the living room from the kitchen, where I was standing, seized me.

You see, special urges are a part of my life. When walking from the patio to the travel trailer, a screwdriver catches my eye. This tool was placed in the current spot just an hour before.

My mind recognizes the tool and actually makes some acknowledgement of it, such as to say, "Yes, it is a screwdriver." I continue to the trailer where, within a matter of minutes, a screwdriver is needed to complete a task. A loose screw is found, so walking back to pick up and retrieve the tool is required.

Over the years these special urges became rather common and helpful in my life. When a screwdriver, hammer, hunting knife or shovel caught my eye, I picked it up and more often than not, the tool was needed for an appropriate reason within a short time.

Not all of these urges involved a tool, but just a feeling, such as the one experienced in the kitchen, encouraging me to walk to the living room. Everything seemed normal as the left half of the room came into view, but on the right side, standing on the arm of the couch was Black Beauty, also known as BB, our 8-year-old black cat.

The interesting part of this view was the fact her head wasn't visible. Her head was inside Garnet's coffee cup. I yelled and she lifted her head, licked her lips, turned to face me and smiled.

Garnet returned to the living room wondering why I yelled.

"Well, I wouldn't drink any more of your coffee," was my reply.

Black Beauty was scolded, but there, right in front of us, she turned her head and began drinking the coffee again. Garnet wondered out loud how many months or years BB has been drinking her coffee, a speculation neither one of us wanted to contemplate.

Garnet was very careful with her coffee cup after this incident, but Black Beauty would try to sneak a drink now and then. The cat would be sleeping on Garnet's lap, stand up and stretch, then turn and head for the coffee cup.

This, of course, provided many chances for me to tease Garnet. "How's your coffee?" became a common question around the house. I would ask, and she would look for the cat. Or if Garnet left the room for a minute or two, the question, "How's your coffee?" would be asked upon her return. At this point she may throw away the coffee or drink it, if I assured her BB had not been near it.

This continued until we decided to give BB coffee if she wants coffee. Now we pour a small amount of coffee in a ramekin and let her have it.

Black Beauty has a history of getting in trouble, although it is not always her fault. There was the time when tape cassettes were common in our house. One day I noticed tape coming from BB's mouth. Then I noticed tape coming from BB's, well...the other end as well.

A trip to visit Dr. Bob was needed and he said an operation was in order.

"Had to open her intestines in seven places to get all of the tape," he said when we picked her up.

Six months later a cotton string with a toy tied on the end was used to play with the cat. Two days later the toy was found, but the string was missing. Yep, one end was coming from BB's mouth and the other end was, well, ... coming out the other end.

Garnet, being a registered nurse, knew a cotton string was much different from a tape. No operation would be necessary as the string would deteriorate as it mixed with the gut juices.

Garnet, being a registered nurse, was able to monitor the journey of the string through BB's digestive tract. She provided me with updates, reports I didn't really need to know.

BB is fixed and has never had kittens, but she thinks she is a momma cat at times. About four years ago I heard a strange sound, a soft murmur, so headed for the sound to investigate.

This cat had a plastic grocery bag in her mouth and was moving her baby while making a continuous cooing sound. The bag was rolled into a tight ball, which represented a kitten to BB. There are times when two or three grocery bags are found in one spot of the house and I know BB has spent part of the night relocating her babies.

One of the smartest things Garnet did after we acquired our 4-pound chihuahua, Brenda Starr, was to train her to use an inside potty box. This plastic box is lined with a stack of newspapers and topped with a paper towel. This saves my wife the trouble of getting up during the night to take Brenda outside.

BB has taken notice of Brenda's potty box activities and tries to train the dog to cover up her mess once deposited, but the training is lost on the little canine. In fact, Brenda Starr thinks BB is simply a servant, hired to help in such situations.

Yesterday, I walked through the living room and into the computer room.

"How's your coffee?" I asked and Garnet snarled at me.

I entered the computer room and saw BB with her hind legs on the chair, her front legs on the desk and her head in my coffee cup. The cat raised her head, looked in my direction and smiled.

My kidding of Garnet about BB drinking her coffee continues in a persistent fashion. You see I haven't told her about the cat drinking my coffee, for fear she would begin a relentless jesting campaign of her own.

However, I do wonder, quietly and to myself, how many months or years BB has been drinking my coffee, a speculation I do not want to contemplate.

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