The great movie trilogies: "The Godfather," "Toy Story," "Lord of the Rings," the original "Star Wars." My 3-year-old would like to nominate another trilogy: "Santa Paws."

Disney's talking puppy series is available for streaming on Netflix, meaning you can pass on classics this year and watch live-action dogs say a bunch of sappy nonsense from shoddily-animated CGI mouths. Merry Christmas, parents!

For a series aimed at toddlers, the "Santa Paws" films are surprisingly convoluted. It all starts with 2009's "Santa Buddies," which is technically the fourth installment in the "Air Buddies" series. "Air Buddies," of course, is the spinoff film of the lucrative (?) "Air Bud" series, about a golden retriever that's allowed to play recreational sports alongside unathletic children. The first two movies in that franchise played in actual movie theaters, and everything else went straight to DVD.

In "Santa Buddies," the talking golden retriever "Buddies" meet Puppy Paws, the white-haired offspring of Santa Paws, magical pet to Santa Claus. Santa Claus is played by "Cheers" star George Wendt, who, judging by the performance, maybe wasn't aware he was dressed in a Santa costume and filming a movie.

Christopher "Doc Brown" Lloyd plays a grumpy dogcatcher, some magical stuff happens and yada, yada, yada, the Buddies end up pulling Santa's sleigh. It's because the reindeer have a Christmas cold (more on this later).

While the Buddies continued on to other genres ("Spooky Buddies," etc.), Disney released the prequel "The Search for Santa Paws" in 2010. It combines many familiar elements: A Santa Claus who's lost his memory, an "Annie" type orphanage for girls, and a magical puppy that turns into a stuffed animal and is nearly incinerated by a furnace.The last one may sound ridiculous, but remember Disney pulled that exact stunt with "Toy Story 3" in the same year, and we all cried like babies.

The CGI in "Santa Paws" is a bit better, the Santa Claus actor (Richard Riehle) understands he is in a movie playing Santa Claus, and the songs are slightly less atrocious.

And while the Santa Claus and orphanage storylines are predictable, I was a bit flummoxed by the dog's story. Paws is a puppy that can talk with a magic crystal, but if he loses the crystal he is a stuffed animal, but then later he becomes the full-size Santa Paws, and... I obviously stopped paying attention. I was creeped out by the dog's excessively droopy eyes. When Paw's CGI mouth started moving, his eyes lasered into my soul, and I just needed to make like Indy in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and look away.

Fans had to wait two years for the sequel, "Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups," which I guess takes place sometime after "Santa Buddies" and focuses on the spawn of Santa Paws and their trip to a small town full of sad children and more nefarious dogcatchers.

Thankfully, the pups were born without Dad's droopy dead eyes. This movie leans heavily on peppy musical numbers, and Cheryl Ladd is the token aging star trapped in the thankless role. She's Mrs. Claus, and she goes to the small town for... something, and instead discovers a horrible "Christmas Cold."

All three films deal with this mysterious illness, which is really just your common case of the Holiday Grumbles. Speaking thematically, is this "Christmas Cold" a legitimate threat to our culture? Does it have anything to do with Kirk Cameron? Or did the filmmakers know in 2012 the world would be living under Fearbola just two years later? Whatever the case, "Santa Paws 2" is DEEP.

If you've stuck with me this entire article and are still thinking about watching any of these movies, then please throw this newspaper in the garbage. Do not watch any "Santa Paws" movie. Ever.

But because I suffered through all three, I'm continuing with more fascinating details:

Danny Woodburn is the only live-action actor to appear in all three "Santa Paws" movies as head elf, Eli. He's in everything, but most would recognize him as Kramer's friend, Mickey on "Seinfeld."

A different actor plays Santa Claus in each movie. Are we talking behind-the-scenes casting issues, or are they all dying in roof accidents? Maybe the "Santa Clause" isn't such a viable tool for finding qualified successors.

Kaitlyn Maher, a finalist from "America's Got Talent," is also in all three movies, but she only provides a voice in "Santa Buddies." Confusingly, she is the main little girl in both "Search for Santa Paws" and "Santa Paws 2," but is playing two completely different characters. In the first movie, she has two dead parents and sings songs about living in an orphanage. In the second, her mom is dead, her dad is a radio DJ (dead media) and she sings a bunch of songs with Mrs. Charlie's Angel-Claus. I was CONFUSED.

Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.