You will never be good at it unless you practice it. I know you have heard that before when you use to play the piano in middle school and when you learned a new swimming stroke in the summer. But did you know you are able to learn new skills to have less daily stress?

We all think these skills should just show up naturally, right? Like being able to run a mile in 10 minutes or ski a black diamond mogul run in Colorado. Well, skills are not like that. You just don't get them and then you are good to go. Skills are the tools you use to manage your life. You have to cultivate them. You have to find the skills that work for you. Just because your friend has one skill to cope with stress does not mean yours should be the same.

Stress is considered to be pressure or tension that tends to produce anxiety and worry. But not all stress is bad. Stress can motivate us, drive us and teach us about ourselves. Often we just do not have the appropriate tools to handle the stress that was presented, and that is what so often derails us. So what do we do? How do we learn these new skills and develop new coping skills for our angry boss or grumpy daughter? And what about every time we see that employee at our office that is a grouch, and suddenly we feel our heart race and the back of our neck itch?

Stress often presents in our physical health and I see it often in my profession of physical therapy. Remember, you can't lie to your body; it will catch you every time. You can't hide from your feelings about your job, your life, your spouse, and your family. It will ultimately manifest itself somewhere in your life, either mentally, emotionally, and often times physically.

So we need to recognize the physical response to stress, and then we need to know what to do about it. Once we know that the stress is creating physical symptoms, then and only then can we come up with "our" skills to handle "our" life. This is where the practice comes into the picture. These skills come in all shapes and sizes, but they are not for all of us. That is why one man runs marathons and another bikes to work everyday. That's why one lady does yoga and another does kickboxing. That's why one friend mediates, and another listens to music on the way to work or at home before bed.

So the physical response pattern is great, so don't get afraid as you learn about them. You fear what your body feels because you don't know what to do with it, but these physical symptoms can't hurt you unless you choose to let them. We all need choices, and now when stress comes, you can choose what skill to use. This ability to choose helps us live life to the best of our ability.

So when your tummy rumbles at the company party, or your hands sweat when you visit your family gathering, just know that this is the time to put your skills to use.

Some Skills for this Holiday Season:

1) Deep breathing patterns: Breathe in to a four count and out to a four count. This slows your heart rate and decreases anxiety. Professional speakers use this technique all the time to clam their nerves.

2) Daily aerobic exercise: Everyday you need to walk, jog, bike or hike for at least 30 minutes, and longer if you haven't broken a sweat. Aerobic exercise releases the toxins from our body, and your brain gets a healthy dose of endorphins. New studies on depression, cancer, diabetes and heart disease recognize that doing this is way better than any medicine the doctor could ever order for you.

3) Worry time: 10 minutes a day, that's all you get. When the thoughts come into your head at all times of the day, jot them down and choose a time to worry about them. Then you will worry and fret and get it all out, and then when the timer rings, you are done for the day. You may have to do an a.m. and p.m. worry time when you first start, but with practice, you will soon learn that all your worry is taking away your valuable energy and you will limit its control over you.

4) New thoughts: The brain is an amazing organ and you must train it. Just like you train your muscles you must train the brain. Positive thinking takes practice, and new grooves in the brain will have to be established, and that takes time. Develop a new way of thinking about your neighbor or your desk mate. Develop some type of affinity for the person who is your arch-nemesis.

5) Develop a heart of forgiveness: No one can have any type of relationship if they do not have a heart of forgiveness. No one, and I mean no one, will ever do everything right, so learn to practice forgiveness when your dearest friend forgets your birthday, or your boss has a bad day because his daughter wrecked the family car.

So practice, practice, practice, and learn new skills to make your life the best it can be. In the book "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Stephen Hayes, PHD, he shows you how to overcome emotional pain, free yourself from self-judgment and negative thinking, overcome depression and commit to what you care about and have the life you want. Don't be afraid. Don't let fear stop you. Step forward and commit to yourself new skills you will practice. The New Year is almost here, and you are the only one getting in your way.

Sheree DiBiase, PT, is the owner of Lake City Physical Therapy, and she and her staff want to encourage you to be healthy and well this holiday season. They can be reached for an appointment to get you physically moving at (208) 667-1988 and (509) 891-2623.