Your Mrs. Language Person is a bit cranky. Gone she was, free from the flustered failures and linguistic labors of this tiresome task. Lackadaisically lounging was she on sunny seaside sands sans tear or tortured trouble.

Note those alliterative allusions, oh venerable veterans? Yes, it was you and your "wreaths for the fallen" who loquaciously lured your moony MLP back from her happy, halcyon holiday, with your ostensibly offhand utterances to that readily resourceful reporter. Tracked your elusive MLP down, Devin did. Guileless guilt works wonders on this egoistic etymologist.

Periodically ponder poetic privilege, Dear Reader? Savor similar sounds? Alliteration be thy byword.

Alliteration is repetition, of consonant and sound; but you must begin at the beginning or your attempt will confound. "Whither wilt thou wander?" or "Peter Piper picked." "Letty loves to launder," but not "Nicky Richs is sick."

And why not fiddle with the middle, you may quibble? Because (journalistic license, Dear Reader, allows your MLP to begin a sentence with "because," even if one does know better) Nicky Richs's sickness makes ass-(onance) of him quick. With consummate con-sonant intent (with... that license again).

Think of it thus as tonal trifecta, such soundful sprees of three. Alliteration: words which begin with the Same Sound (a consonant). Assonance: repetition of vowels (with the same sound) in a series of words (NiCKy RiCHs is siCK). Consonance: repetition of consonants in a series of words (niCKy riCHs is siCK). Consonance may appear at beginning, middle, or end.

T'isn't true for alliterative sounds. While an infuriating few might argue, it's staunchly settled that wiser word wizards want their placement premier.

"Simple as pie," dear Reader, "say I."

MLP advises the trouble with such devices is that one's attempt at using so easily is confusing. One tries too tirelessly and words whorl wildly. What begins in suspense ends without sense.

So, Dear Reader, on this topic tread trepidatiously lest you become a bothersome bore such as your moodily malcontent Mrs. Language Person. Schmerson.

Mrs. Language Person, a.k.a. Mrs. Grumble Schmumble, makes no promises not to return to that far-away isle of indolent inactivity. Contact her if you absolutely must c/o sholeh@cdapress.com.