Increases in gun violence in schools: Part II

On Dec. 14, 2012, in Newtown, Conn., 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children and six adult staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Prior to driving to the school, Lanza shot and killed his mother at their Newtown home. As first responders arrived at the scene, Lanza committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.

On June 10, 2014, a gunman walked into Reynolds High School in Troutdale, Ore., and killed one student and injured a teacher. According to police, he then took his own life in a school bathroom while cops encircled the building. Between the Sandy Hook killings and the murder in Troutdale, there have been 74 other school shootings. Have you had enough?

Republican, Democrat, liberal, conservative, pro-gun, pro-life, pro-choice, anti-gun, religious right, religious left, tea-partyers, Regan Republican, baby-boomers and generation X, Y and Z all agree; this has got to stop!

To end this senseless violence, one must examine the perpetrator and why one might choose to end the life of others in such a violent way. Almost nothing in this world happens by chance. Most everything has a reason. If we can extrapolate the reason one chooses to shoot children in a school, we might begin to understand how to stop the shooter from becoming a murderer.

The FBI in its text The School Shooter: A Threat Assessment Perspective describes the personality traits of a school shooter. A school shooter:

* Is almost always male, with few exceptions

* Is almost always Caucasian (in America and Caucasian dominant countries)

* Is easily frustrated

* Has poor coping skills

* Studies and talks about violent subjects

* Shows interest in the military

* Shows signs of depression

* Has a lack of trust toward people

* Might lose interest in activities they were previously very involved with

* Might be narcissistic and have a high sense of self-importance, sometimes to mask feelings of unworthiness or insecurity, and feel entitled to special treatment.

* Might have feelings of alienation, isolation, sadness and/or loneliness.

* Might have difficult relationships with their parents who accept their unusual behavior and aren't intimate.

* Has access to weapons, often owned by the family.

* Is bullied by others. Eighty-four percent of school attackers reported being bullied and persecuted by others, even those that committed suicide or were killed on the scene left evidence behind of past bullying.

Understanding the personality traits of a school shooter offers one insight into identifying a person prone to violent outburst but this is only half of the story. Psychological dysfunction may lead one to become maladaptive and struggle in life but why does this person decide to bring a gun to a school and shoot kids? Because the killer has seen others do the same through video games, violent movies, news stories, comic books and websites. Killing has become an option because someone has modeled the behavior and the behavior has become acceptable.

Albert Bandura developed The Social Learning Theory which says that people can learn by watching other people perform the behavior. Observational learning explains the nature of children to learn behaviors by watching the behavior of the people around them, and eventually, imitating them. Bandura, in his most famous experiment, had an adult act aggressively toward a Bobo Doll while children observe him. Later, Bandura let the children play inside a room with the Bobo Doll. He affirmed that these children imitated the aggressive behavior toward the doll, which they had observed earlier. Children learn from what they observe.

If a child watches a video game where an active shooter is killing civilians, the child might accept this behavior as normal and act out the killing of a friend using a stick, toy gun or his finger used as a pistol. This behavior plays out in the school I work at every day. Karate chops, choke-holds, arm-bars and killer games are played by kids who, when asked to stop, respond with, "We are just playing 'Man Hunt,' or 'Grand Theft Auto,' or 'Mortal Kombat.'" The child's response leads me to believe the child believes this behavior is acceptable at school since it is accessible at home on a gaming system.

I'm not suggesting that all kids who play violent video games or watch violent movies will become school shooters but I am suggesting that one who matches the FBI profile for a child who might be a school shooter and then has access to violent videos and games now has a model for a very disastrous and catastrophic event.

Creating new laws to limit gun purchases will have little effect abating this issue. This is not about guns, it is about mental wellness. I agree guns must be secure in all homes as access to guns is one of the profiles the FBI targets as a threat school shootings. I also believe that parents who allow access to firearms that are used in a crime should be held as accountable as the shooter for the crime.

To stop this madness, we must change our societal norms. Watching violence or losing one's self in a violent video game is not normal. Becoming obsessed with violence, guns, killing and murder should not be normal in our society. Playing violent video games as a child is not OK. I often hear a young child explaining in graphic detail a violent Mature or Adults Only video game to a friend at school. Allowing young children to play these games in inappropriate and abusive.

As Bandura explains, having negative behavior modeled and accepted by trusted adults offers permission for the child to perform the same behavior. The child is learning that negative behavior is acceptable and condoned.

The psychological wellness of a child is the responsibility of the parent. Some children suffer from mental illness that creates unconscionable sadness and depression while other children struggle with anxiety and insecurity. If your child is struggling with one of the issues listed above in the FBI profile, seek immediate help.

Parents often believe that their child is just going through a rough spot, just feeling sad, is hormonal or moody. I suggest doing everything possible to ensure your child is safe. Take a look at the list above. Does your child display one or more of the traits listed? If so, seek help. Throw away violent video games and movies, seek therapy, talk with friends and family and keep asking questions until you get the help your child needs.

After each school shooting the morning news asks, what can we do to stop the madness? I believe this is too big of a problem for society to solve. The solution lies in the family. As parents, we know our children better than anyone and when we feel our child might be struggling, we need to be tenacious in helping our kid resolve their struggle. The solution lies in each of us.

Send comments or other suggestions to Bill Rutherford at [email protected] or visit pensiveparenting.com.