History suffers in light of tech advances

Dear PropellerHeads: My son asked me recently what the blue square was on the "Save" icon in Word. I had to explain floppy disks. Talk about feeling old!

A: That's not a question, but we know exactly what you mean. Just wait until they watch "Seinfeld" or "Friends" reruns from the '90s and ask you about answering machines. In recent weeks, we've even heard high-schoolers refer to the pound sign as a "hashtag," as if that was its real name. Your observation got us thinking: what else will our kids grow up knowing nothing about because of advances in technology?

Just about anything even remotely related to phones has become obsolete in the last two decades. Seeing a phone book on the doorstep evokes Mitch Hedberg's take on being handed a flyer. "It's like they're saying, 'Here - you throw this away.'" A popular observation posted to Twitter recently: "When my kid watches "Terminator," I will have to explain the concept of a phone book, but not an autonomous robot killing machine." (bit.ly/1tzacue)

Phone booths are in the same camp. A recent quip on the web suggested that Superman's work of late has been hindered by the lack of suitable places to change into character. Google has a plan to make them useful again by installing Wi-Fi equipment (cnet.co/1ssukhA), so maybe they'll stick around in some form. It's weird to think that our kids will never use a pay phone.

Does anyone without grandkids still call a "time-and-temp" number? Speaking of "Seinfeld," that whole "Kramer as Moviefone" gag probably won't make much sense in a few years either. And anyone who was once spooked because "the call came from inside the house" is now more likely to greet an unknown caller with "how did you get this number?"

In fact, the term "landline phone" - used now to distinguish them from cellphones - is a retronym, once unnecessary as there were no other types of phones. See also "acoustic guitar" and "analog watch." We expect watches that "just" tell time (as opposed to tracking your exercise habits) won't be around too much longer either, except as fashion accessories.

Remember those weird noises a modem used to make when you connected to the Internet? Good luck recreating that sound for your kids! And while camera phones have not made camera cameras obsolete (just yet), little Timmy will never know the frustration of having his vacation photos erased from his camera's film by the airport X-rays.

The publishing landscape has changed significantly as well. For school research papers, you probably went to a library and flipped through an encyclopedia, whereas your kids will start by consulting Wikipedia from the home computer (or tablet, or phone). Anyone remember Microsoft Encarta?

Big-city libraries now are transforming from book storehouses into glorified computer labs, with the emphasis still on learning, just in different ways. Newspapers, magazines, and books won't go away anytime soon, but will be consumed more and more on tablets and other devices with screens.

Prepare to hear this: "Mommy, what are pen pals?" Your kids are much less likely to ever mail a letter (much less write one in cursive), and the USPS will increasingly be seen as a way for companies to send you junk every day. And here's something you'll never say again: "Grab the map so we can find our way to Blockbuster to rent a movie."

Of course, physical media used to store music always changes rapidly (from vinyl records to audio tapes to CDs, just to summarize one PropellerHead's experience). It will be fun to explain how we had to plan our entire evenings around the TV schedule - if you weren't home by 8 on Thursdays, you were going to miss "The Cosby Show" and would have to wait for a rerun.

As always, the ground continues to move under our feet even now. It will take a while longer, but online banking will eventually make checks seem as antiquated to a future generation as the milkman seems to us now. Already, iPads are replacing restaurant bills and receipts.

Most frightening to us is the prospect of a future where all technology columns are written by super-intelligent robots without the aid of humans. What could possibly go wr001001111011?!

When the PropellerHeads at Data Directions aren't busy with their IT projects, they love to answer questions on business or consumer technology. Email them to [email protected] or contact us at Data Directions Inc., 8510 Bell Creek Road, Mechanicsville, VA 23116. Visit our website at www.askthepropellerheads.com.