Experiencing exuberant joy is not always evidenced by a boisterous explosion of supersized smiles and slapdash bouncing. Sometimes it peeks out tenderly from the sweetness of a face full of it. Lynda Nutt's gentle face is spontaneously uplifting, making it impossible to squelch a rebound grin. Her delight in life is that of a 10-year-old experiencing things for the first time. But, then, her "real life" began only 10 years ago because she spent most of it in hiding.

Until 2004 Lynda played a lopsided game of Hide and Seek: Hide and Hide. Lynda hid behind aromatic chocolate cake and sizzling crispy french fries to avoid being found by emotional demons.

He mother's undiagnosed bi-polar disease made for a chaotic childhood. When mom was having a good day, they feasted on unlimited quantities of luscious meals crowned with assorted ooey-gooey "happy day" desserts. On mother's dark days, they were often left without food. She ate what she could find, hoarding what she couldn't get down.

She said, "I was always the 'cute chubby child.'" The second time her parents divorced, her father won custody and grandma came to help. Grandmother's Depression-era cooking of fatty, starchy, cheap foods was comforting until fifth grade weight recording day. Her classmates' laughter as the teacher announced Lynda's 132-pound weight was humiliating. They called her names. Her own brother teased, "It must be jelly 'cuz jam don't shake like that" as he poked her in the belly. She thought the nickname of Petunia was cute until she learned it referred to Petunia Pig in a cartoon. Hide.

As a teen she lived with her mother who remarried five times. Her weight yo-yoed through high school. She won a spot on the pep squad only to be eliminated because she couldn't fit into the uniform. The girls wore cute clothes. She hid in homemade tents.

In adulthood, food comforted her many losses. She used life's tragedies as an excuse to eat. Her series of losses started with the suicide of her 17-year-old baby sister.

She said, "Food became my pacifier." Later, drugs took the life of another sister. A massive heart attack took her husband soon after. Nine months after his passing, her mother passed from cancer. She hid her emotions in binge eating time after time.

At 40 years old, 5-foot-3 and 270 pounds, she suffered from ankle sprains, leg pains, breathing issues, and a stress fracture, and felt buried under biases toward "fat" people. Her attempts to change led her through many ruses: Low carb, no carb, high protein, no protein, Overeaters Anonymous, TOPS, Weight Watchers, and heart damaging Fen-Fen. Every success was followed by extra gain. She laments, "I tried every diet out there. I was self-destructing. Outwardly, I played the confidence game, but inwardly, I simply wanted to run and hide." She hid in the food addict closet.

Her pivotal moment was a diabetes diagnosis. Through counseling, she learned she had missed out on life by hiding from emotions behind food. She practiced portion control and exercise to lose 138 pounds. She faced her emotional demons successfully.

To anyone seeking to quit allowing emotions to be an excuse for triggered eating, Lynda offers:

* Quit telling yourself it is your "body type" or "large bones" or "Uncle Harry's" fault.

* Focus on getting healthy, not simply dieting.

* Practice self-talk: I want to live a full life. I want to enjoy my family. I want to be happy.

Though it is a difficult story to share, Lynda opens up hoping to encourage someone in hiding to seek help. She said, "I let shame rob me of life's joy far too long. You are the only one who can make that change. It isn't about stopping people from judging how you look on the outside that is important. It's how you will feel on the inside. The gift that is waiting belongs to you alone. Don't stay in a cycle of self-destruction." As she enjoys life, her game of lopsided Hide and Seek has flipped to Seek and Seek.

There are many organizations offering a boost of new life to participants. Be encouraged to get on out there and seize the day. The Mamas can be followed on Facebook and reached at www.rhmamas.com

• Meet Lynda Nutt

Age: 64

Widowed, 2 daughters, 3 grandsons

Retired U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (Manager for national recreational safety program)

University of Maryland education in communications

Red Hot Mama: 7 months

Pet Peeve: Arrogance

Favorite Quote: "Pretty is as pretty done." Her mother

Highlights of Her Life: Birth of daughters. White House honor: Take Pride in America award. Named one of the "Grand Coulee's Rosies" this year.

Enjoyments: Genealogical research, historical reading, volunteering, CASA, teaching Fit and Fall Proof classes. And travel.

RHM Besties: Support to get over self-doubt. Gaining stamina. Cheerleaders pulling me along. Audience faces. Exercise. Sisterhood.

RHM Tuffies: Trying to keep pace with amazing dancers.