Victoria Lavrador thinks performing at the Macy's Parade with the Red Hot Mamas (RHM) is the chance of a lifetime. She is the queen of flexibility, doing the splits in all directions! This performer joined RHM looking to be part of something bigger than she could comprehend and found a new family of 50 sisters. The Mamas aren't the only family she sought out.

Victoria enjoyed a dream childhood. She never wanted for anything. She soaked in love as the grandparents who adopted her at birth adored her. Strong self-worth, unconditional love, and solid faith filled her formative years.

Even with attentive nurturing, at the age of seven she began wondering, "Why didn't my birth parents want me?" She was told her mother couldn't accept the responsibilities of parenting and her father didn't want to be part of her life. She accepted the answers, yet a nagging feeling of abandonment took root. Her mother came in and out of her life a few times looking for a touch of fantasy motherhood, but chose drug and alcohol escapes over parenting her beautiful daughter. Victoria made a healthy choice to stay away from her. The death of her beloved grandfather submerged teenage Victoria in heavy depression. With the loss of her father figure, she wondered, "Why didn't my father want to be with me?" The root of abandonment grew deeper.

Life went on and with it bumps in the road. Victoria survived ovarian cancer. She married, gave birth to a son, and decided the last time her husband abused her was the last time.

It was the birth of her first son that prompted her to search for her missing father. She desired family. As a new mom she says, "I couldn't understand how a parent wouldn't want to a part of their child's life. So I had to search for my dad to get the answer."

The deep root of abandonment returned a bountiful harvest as her empty spaces were filled with answers after she found him. He had been told to stay away. He had been convinced it was in his baby girl's best interest to grant the childhood Victoria's grandparents could provide and not confuse her. Now that she knew the answers, she had to decide what to do with them. She chose forgiveness.

Her new family opened their hearts to absorb a daughter they hadn't known for 25 years. The Dad she was dreaming to know carried a baby photo of her in his wallet. The best Mom a girl could imagine welcomed her. The brother she met gave her a sense of pride. She says, "I never thought I would have a strong supporting family by my side to cheer me on during life's ups and downs."

They celebrated the birth of her second son together and encouraged her as she opened her own business. They experience the joy of RHM together as her proud Daddy snaps photos. They will be there as her life unfolds in the years ahead. She says, "God has shown me I may not understand why things happen the way they do, but I need to accept He has what's best for me at heart. The path may not always be smooth, but keep faith."

Victoria isn't certain there is a way to defray the feeling of abandonment some adopted children sense. While a letter from the biological parents offering an explanation won't "fix it," she thinks it might provide insight and says, "Love and support is all that really matters to a child in the end."

To an adopted child wondering about biological parents she advises, "Don't pass judgment. Be strong. You don't know what they were dealing with. Forgive them."

There are many organizations offering a boost of new life to participants. Be encouraged to get on out there and seize the day. The Mamas can be followed on Facebook and reached at www.rhmamas.com

• Meet Victoria Lavrador

Age: 34

Two sons, ages 9 and 1

Owner of Kootenai Kids Teaching Supply

Bachelor of science in psychology

Red Hot Mama: 8 months

Highlight of her life: The birth of two children

Enjoyments: Photography, scrapbooking, motorcycle riding, snowmobiling, cooking, travel, family and friends, Burgundy, cheesecake, 'Gone with the Wind'

Favorite quote: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'" Eleanor Roosevelt

RHM Besties: Bringing smiles to people's hearts. Interacting with many different women. Spreading joy and laughter. Photo with Seattle Mayor Murray. Sisterhood.

RHM Tuffies: Being away from sons.