Suicide: Time to walk the talk

Nobody likes talking about it. Fear and lack of understanding create a determined, if naïve, belief in “it can’t happen to me.” Then a celebrity — most recently funnyman Robin Williams — commits suicide, and the world mourns. With luck, we also rethink, reconsider, explore, ask questions and increase compassion. One hopes.

September is Suicide Prevention Month. For a dozen years I’ve written about it, but since it became personal in 2012, doing so drives a sharp blade into tender wounds. So make it worthwhile, and please, read on. Think. Share. Act. Walk.

Walk on Sept. 13. Help local support network SPAN North Idaho with its only annual fundraiser — which needs sponsors, volunteers, and walkers (it’s free) — at its Save the One walk beginning at 9 a.m. at O’Shay’s and along scenic Centennial Trail. Suicide Prevention and Action Network is a local source of support and information for survivors and responders. You’d walk by the lakeside spot where we mourned our son, who so loved the water. The sparkling blue and gentle lapping sounds somehow soothe.

And soothing is in order. As SPAN will tell you:

By most recent count there are 38,400 deaths by suicide annually in the U.S.; that’s one every 15 minutes. Unfortunately, our state consistently ranks in the top 10. While suicide happens among adults of any age, it is the second leading cause of death for Idahoans aged 15 to 34, and males aged 10 to 14 (accidents rank first in these age groups).

Idaho has the sixth highest suicide rate in the U.S. with 18.3 completed per 100,000 population, or 49 percent higher than the national average. In 2012 (the last data available), 299 Idahoans completed suicide, more than previous years. Of those, 79 percent were male. Firearms and limiting access to them by young or suicidal people could be better managed, as 59 percent of Idaho suicides involve them (the national average is 51 percent) and it is the most preferred method by males.

North Idaho has the highest rates in the state. Kootenai County’s rate is 19.7 per 100,000 population; Benewah is 19.5, Bonner 24.4. Shoshone and Boundary are the most concerning, at 29.8 and 31.2, respectively. Keep in mind that for every suicide completed, several more are attempted or planned.

Too many are kids. One in seven Idaho public and charter high school students reported seriously considering suicide in 2013. Half followed through with an attempt. Between 2008 and 2012, Idaho lost 83 schoolchildren to suicide; 16 of those were aged 15 or younger. The young especially have cause for hope; somehow we are failing to ensure those who need it most know.

As heartbreaking as young death is, the highest rates for both genders are among 45 and older. Death of loved ones, major life changes such as divorce, loneliness, and stressful events including joblessness are common triggers, as is mental illness. Drugs and alcohol can also play a part, although they are generally aggravators rather than original cause.

Then there is the military. Suicide among armed forces members and veterans has increased steadily in the last six years, leading the military to respond with their “Ready and Resilient” campaign to reduce those numbers.

So all this is terrible, but what do we do? We talk about this. We ask questions. We don’t ignore expressions of deep or prolonged depression (both can lead to attempts), we don’t just tell such people to “get over it” or “buck up” and take it seriously. We help with “QPR” — question (what’s wrong?), persuade (the only thing certain in life is change, so there is hope; let me help you address this), refer (to professionals, preferably) and we follow up, check on them. Suicide hotlines are one way of getting 24-hour help and referrals; Idaho’s is (800) 273-TALK (8255) — Suicideprevention.org. Be there and make sure they dial.

I hope it doesn’t happen to you and yours. Know that it can, in the best and closest of families. If it has, you’re not alone. Either way, help by bringing it out of the dark. Suicides don’t happen under spotlights.

For more information or to register for SPAN’s walk email [email protected], call Karen Petit at (208) 772-2353, or see Spanidaho.org.

Statistical sources courtesy of SPAN North Idaho include Idaho’s Bureau of Vital Records and Health and Welfare, Centers for Disease Control, and Idaho Suicide Prevention Hotline Report 2013.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at [email protected].