"Furious 7," the latest installment in the preposterous/amazing "Fast and the Furious" franchise, broke all sorts of records this past weekend. It's easily the best/most absurd of the series behind "Fast Five," and it includes a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to the late Paul Walker.

But enough about "Furious 7," because I've got the scoop on the next film in the series, tentatively titled "Ocho Furiouso."

Yes, with the help of Hollywood insider Jonah Anderson, I've secured the super secret plot details and casting surprises for "Ocho Furiouso." Read on only if you want your brain to explode from excitement.

"Ocho" picks up a month after "Furious 7," and Jason Statham's baddie Deckard Shaw has been busted out of a maximum security prison by his old partner, played by none other than Nicolas Cage. He'll be as bug-eyed insane as you would expect, and he'll be speaking in a Jamaican accent - the one he wanted to do for "The Green Hornet" before Christoph Waltz replaced him in the part.

Anyway, Agent Hobbs (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) learns of Shaw's escape while taking his daughter to the zoo. Filled with rage, Hobbs backhands an elephant (because it's eyeballing him like a real Jabroni), and the elephant shoots across its pen and into one of those Ice Cream of the Future stands. Don't worry, PETA. No animals will be harmed in the making of "Ocho Furiouso."

Hobbs connects with Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his team, but they don't know where to start looking for Shaw and Cagolas Nage (that's the name of Cage's villain - his idea). Enter a mysterious stranger played by Jean-Claude Van Damme, who claims to be a former associate of Nage. Can the team trust JCVD? Of course they can. The Muscles from Brussels is as honest as they come.

After about an hour of crazy car stunts somewhere in Latin America (justifying the title), and Tyrese yelling, "Woooo!" on 12 separate occasions, Hobbs, Toretto and JCVD hop aboard a rocket that's headed for Nage's Moonbase. They do that thing where they have to hang outside the rocket as it takes off, because the "Fast and Furious" franchise isn't going to let Tom Cruise and "Mission: Impossible" top them when it comes to spectacular stunts.

Hobbs lays the smackdown on 100 Moonbase henchman while JCVD and Toretto engage in a glorious battle with Shaw and Nage in a low-gravity room. Actually, the room has full gravity, but in "Fast & Furious," the laws of physics are just slightly skewed.

Pretty great, huh? Just wait until you hear about the post credits sequence...

As the team relaxes around the barbecue drinking Coronas, a mysterious man enters the frame.

"You think you've seen some incredible things," the man says. "But you have no idea what kind of world you're living in. Let me tell you about the Avengers Initiative."

Yes, the mystery man is Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and it's revealed that "Fast & Furious" shares the same universe as Marvel and "The Avengers." In 2019, get ready for "Fast Nine: Furious Avengers." The Rock will finally meet his match when he squares off against The Incredible Hulk.

It sounds far fetched, but I'm telling you, it's going to happen.

Tyler Wilson can be reached at [email protected]. Check out Hollywood Insider Jonah Anderson on "The Jonah Show" podcast, now available on iTunes.