Why not start the new year off with a laugh? These classics have been going around for a while, a collection of unknown origin sure to bring at least a giggle or two:

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

(Thanks to reader H. Johnson for his assistance.)

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network who is married to an incurable punster. Share your sympathies at Sholeh@cdapress.com.