Super movie trailers and something called football
Tyler Wilson/Special to the Press | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 10 years, 10 months AGO
Baseball season is just around the corner.
That's the silver lining I take into Sunday's big game between some cheaters from New England and that guy in Seattle who doesn't like talking to the media.
If you haven't already guessed, I don't pay much attention to football. Go Seahawks, I guess. Maybe their winning ways will finally rub off on the Mariners... and also the Minnesota Twins. Actually, the Mariners look pretty solid this year, so the Seahawks should rub all good fortune onto those cold, mediocre athletes in the Twin Cities.
Some apparently watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials. I don't understand this. Nobody likes commercials. We avoid them so well we have to be forced or tricked into watching them any other time of the year. I don't need a reminder to drink Coca-Cola. Because Coca-Cola is delicious.
The one thing I have to look forward to this Sunday: Universal promises a new look at "Jurassic World," the only movie anybody should really care about in 2015. Please refer to my previous column on "Jurassic World" for more details, but basically, Chris Pratt is leading a Velociraptor Motorcycle Gang. Take that, "Citizen Kane!"
Here's a breakdown of the other rumored trailers to look for this Sunday:
"The Divergent Series: Insurgent"
The first "Divergent" movie made a bunch of money last year, but nobody older than 16 remembers a thing about it. Kate Winslet and that dying "Fault in Our Stars" girl star. Release date: March 20.
"Fast & Furious 7"
The rumored TV spot will (hopefully) feature 30 full seconds of Vin Diesel and The Rock punching bad guys. On the hoods of cars. Falling off cliffs. While on fire. Release date: April 3.
"Tomorrowland"
The first trailer for this George Clooney adventure (based on the Disney attraction) was an enticing tease. While I hope to see a few seconds of new footage, Disney should hold back on showing too much. I've already seen way too much of "Avengers: Age of Ultron" (another Disney movie that MIGHT get a Super Bowl spot). Release date: May 22.
"Ted 2"
Mark Wahlberg wants to be pardoned for all his prior infractions. Please insert your own joke here about "Ted" being a criminally terrible movie. This trailer is already online. Release date: June 26.
"Terminator: Genisys"
Schwarzenegger is back, and the first trailer made it look like every other "Terminator" movie we've seen already. Surprise me, Arnold! Make a "Kindergarten Cop" sequel instead! Release date: July 1.
"Minions"
The TV spot for this "Despicable Me" spinoff is already online, so let your kids watch it in another room and have yourself an adult beverage in peace. Sponsored by Bud Light. Release date: July 10.
"Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice"
Rumor has it Batfleck will make his grand debut on Sunday. The movie doesn't come out until March 2016, but Warner Bros. already has the next 26 sequels planned. None of them will feature a Velociraptor Motorcycle Gang.
"JURASSIC WORLD." JUNE 12. And go sports team.
Tyler Wilson can be reached at [email protected].
ARTICLES BY TYLER WILSON/SPECIAL TO THE PRESS
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