Pastor's book a cathartic journey after daughter's sudden death
LYNNETTE HINTZE | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 9 years, 3 months AGO
What is it like to pick out a casket for a 5-year-old a day before Christmas Eve?
In the early pages of his new book, “Through the Eyes of a Lion: Facing Impossible Pain, Finding Incredible Power,” Levi Lusko confides the unimaginable heartache of that task.
“I wanted to throw up just looking through the casket catalogue, and not just because of what I was going through but because there were no options that weren’t hideous,” Lusko writes.
Lusko, the pastor of Fresh Life Church, brings readers detail by raw detail through the agony of dealing with his daughter’s death on Dec. 20, 2012. Lenya, 5, succumbed to a massive unexpected asthma attack, leaving behind Lusko and his wife, Jennie, and their three daughters, Alivia, Daisy and Clover.
He describes with great tenderness and intimacy the moments after Lenya’s death.
“We held her hands. Even with the tubes and the equipment and wires, she was stunningly beautiful. We kissed her face and stroked her hair and cried. Her eyes were open. She was wearing pajamas. Red leggings, a T-shirt and socks ... I reached out and closed little Lenya Lion’s eyes.”
The Luskos nicknamed their daughter Lenya Lion early on in her young life for her ferocious personality and wild hair that had been mane-like since birth.
No parent should ever have to close her little daughter’s eyes after death, Lusko said. “What I never expected was that God would use her to open mine.”
In the midst of incredible pain, he preached to his congregation that Christmas Eve.
As time went on and the waves of grief subsided ever so slightly, Lusko began contemplating how he could use his personal pain to help others. He had a choice, “one that anyone going through dramatic events has to make — to give up or to live.”
He explains why he chose to live, and not just survive, but live with the passion that comes from knowing there’s more in this earthly life than can be seen with the naked eye.
“It was hard, as you can imagine,” Lusko said in an interview with the Daily Inter Lake last week. “Central to the message of the book is that God takes the difficult things we go through to help other people.”
Writing the book was a journey, a lot of days spent alone in front of a computer. But in the end it was healing, he said.
“Part of the reason I wanted to write this book was so you could have my field notes as you navigate through the rugged and uncharged terrain that is Saturday,” Lusko said. “We’re in this together — the space between promise and fulfillment.”
Lusko talks about Saturday as it relates to Christ’s crucifixion.
“Jesus died on Good Friday and he rose on Easter Sunday. There’s a whole day in between that we don’t talk about,” Lusko said. “How weird was it for the disciples? Saturday must have been the hardest part. That stone seemed real heavy and their dreams were shattered ... I use Saturday as a metaphor of what we’re living today ... The trouble with Saturday is that we have no clue when it will end, so we have to just trust that Sunday is on the way.”
The goal, he said, is to give people insight into the processing that helped him and his family through their Saturday.
“‘Through the Eyes of a Lion’ is not just a message of getting through grief, but that there is power in the midst of pain ... I believe our ministry combines hope with a call to action. That’s why God has blessed us the way he has.”
Lusko has been at the helm of the rapidly growing Fresh Life Church since founded the multi-site church several years ago. He also founded Skull Church and the O2 Experience.
“We’re growing like crazy, into Polson and Helena,” he said. “Our online ministry has skyrocketed; we’re in new states and countries. We have one of the biggest radio networks in the state of Montana right now.”
Lusko has been buoyed by support from his church.
“I’m so thankful for the good people of Fresh Life,” he said. “They went through it with us. Our church rallied.”
In the end, the message in Lusko’s book is uplifting. He shares how Lenya’s corneas were donated to two people who now have sight, thanks to her.
“Think about how the human eye works,” he said. “I see no stars [during daylight] but know they’re there; they don’t go away.”
God also is “hidden in plain sight,” he said. “When we use the lens of faith, the Bible says we can know what we’re looking at is not the end of the story.”
Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by email at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com.