I slowly open one eye and look toward the window in my bedroom, hoping to see daylight surrounding the blinds - pitch dark! Frustrated that I again am awake before sunrise, I roll over, readjust my pillow, sigh deeply and close my eyes. I feel a hand on my shoulder and a voice asks, "What time is it?"

"Early," I answer frustrated that my lack of sleep has woken my wife again. I reach for my glasses, place them on my nose and adjust them to my ears to see the analog clock on my nightstand.

"Four o'clock," I whisper as I rise from the bed. Reaching for my slippers in the dark room I knock over the book which put me to sleep the night before and now my wife begins to rise.

"Don't you ever sleep?" she asks as she heads to the bathroom.

I answer, "I wish I did."

I love to sleep. Dreaming of warm, sunny days, visits to far-away places and stormy nights offer my stressful mind a break from daily chores. It is that stress that I attempt to escape which holds me hostage and steals my needed slumber.

Turning off my brain is often impossible. As I lay my head on the pillow at 11:30 each night I replay the day. A fight at recess, a phone call from a frustrated parent, a staff member struggling with a life-changing decision, state assessments and a cafeteria that is too loud; the list goes on. Thinking through each issue and attempting to justify each decision I made takes time.

After resolving the day's issues, I slowly nod off to sleep then, the day's events enter my dreams recreating the anxiety of the day. After four hours of sleep and endless stressful dreams, I wake up hoping to find the morning sun creeping through my bedroom window only to see the darkness of the night around the blinds. This scene plays out nightly leaving me sleep-deprived, frustrated and anxious; but what can I do? The answer is simple; do as I teach.

As a mechanic's car often needs repaired and a plumber's house often has plumbing issues, I am not taking my own advice. In the psychology 101 classes that I teach I spend two hours talking specifically about sleep, dreams, insomnia and the anxiety that lack of sleep can cause.

To regain the lost slumber that is so important for mental wellness, one should follow the science.

* Have a plan for bed. Start lowering the lights in one's house two hours prior to going to bed mimicking the sun setting in the Western sky. Turn off stimulus an hour prior to going to bed. Television, computers, cellphones and loud music activates the brain to believe it needs to be actively working. A quiet, stimulus-free room alerts the brain that it is time to start relaxing.

* Relax before entering one's bed. Start at the toes. Tighten the muscles in one's toes, then loosen the muscles. Next the feet, the calves, thighs and work one's way up to the shoulders, neck and lastly face. Breathe deeply between each exercise and relax fully before starting the next. This will prepare the body for sleep and put the sympathetic nervous system to a static state.

* Create a bedtime story. Before falling asleep, create a script of what one wishes to dream, of what tomorrow might look like and of positive thoughts. It is possible to create dreams by internally talking to one's self of what one wishes to dream.

* Hide the clock. Having a clock visible in the bedroom makes one feel obligated to see the time when falling from deep sleep. If no clock is available, one will tend to reenter deep sleep rather than rising from sleep to check the time.

* Get rid of all light in the bedroom. Lights on technology, clocks, a power toothbrush, power strip or cable box is detrimental to deep sleep. Even the smallest light can simulate the sun rising in one's mind.

* Alcohol disrupts the sleep cycle. A couple glasses of wine to take the edge off a stressful day will allow one to fall asleep quickly but steal a full night's sleep from the drinker.

* Work out three hours before sleep. Becoming tired by using one's body's energy creates a body ready for sleep. Exercising an hour or two before sleep does the opposite, energizing the body in preparation for work.

* Don't nap. Napping is an interesting thing. A catnap seems to have a positive effect and energizes one to finish out the day but once one enters stage three or four sleep, about 25-40 minutes into the nap, the body enters deep-sleep and believes it is down for the night. This is why many report being more tired when they nap than staying awake.

* Don't procrastinate. If one has a tough decision to make, a tough conversation to have, a task that needs accomplished or a chore to complete, complete it. Procrastination creates anxiety.

There are many other theories, ideas, thoughts and beliefs about restful sleep. Every body is different. I plan to take my own advice and hope to find the magic of sleep once again.

Send comments or other suggestions to William Rutherford at bprutherford@hotmail.com or visit pensiveparenting.com.