Even for those experienced in handling trauma, the scene of an Oct. 1 motor-home fire near Foy’s Lake Road that killed an 8-year-old girl was especially harrowing, Chaplain Drew Buckner recalls.

Buckner looked into the eyes of veteran first responders who clearly were disturbed by what they had seen at the scene of the fire, and he encountered family members of the girl who were struggling to cope with unbearable grief. Oftentimes, the emotional toll of dealing with tragedy makes it difficult for those involved to think clearly, but the scene of this fire was particularly heart-wrenching, according to Buckner.

Still, the scene had to be cleaned up. A funeral had to be planned. Some sort of support system had to be put in place for the family. That’s where Buckner steps in to help.

Buckner has devoted the past 10 years of his life to providing chaplain services to families in crisis across the Flathead Valley. In the case of the motor-home fire, he talked with first responders and family members who may have had trouble processing what they had experienced, and recommended counseling resources for the girl’s two siblings.

“Trauma almost freezes the brain up,” Buckner said of how most people respond to unexpected deaths, which are his most common call. The calls range from teenagers killed in car crashes to older folks committing suicide and drownings of small toddlers.

The brain-freeze typically is coupled with unfamiliarity about how unattended deaths are handled.

“They don’t know what a coroner is going to do — what funeral homes are available and what do they do,” Buckner said.

At the same time, Buckner said most people have a reel of memories replaying in their mind of their last moments with the deceased. They wonder if there was anything that could have been done to prevent the death or changed its circumstances.

Buckner views himself as a resource to let families know the logistics of how to connect with services to appropriately handle trauma, provide a sounding board for emotional support and tend to any spiritual requests a person might have.

He began working on a rotational basis with four other pastors in the valley as the chaplain for the Kalispell Fire Department in 2005. The department had wanted to start the chaplain program because firefighters saw a need for someone to be on scene to help families.

“If we are dealing with a very critical patient, we don’t have time to deal with the family member and a lot of time they are in need of assistance, too,” Kalispell Fire Chief Dave Dedman said. “A lot of times Drew can step in and provide care for the family. He’s just a huge support for the community we serve.”

So Buckner got a police scanner to listen for accidents, and despite his wife’s joking initial concern that he might faint at the sight of blood on his first call, he found something he was good at.

“He’s very calm, great demeanor, great bedside manner,” Dedman said. “He’s a great listener.”

A couple of years after the chaplain program started in Kalispell, Buckner decided he was better at providing help during crisis than he was at pastoring a church, so he founded the nonprofit Braveheart Chaplain Ministry so he could devote his career to helping those in need.

While it has been a stressful gig, Buckner said it has been worthwhile.

In addition to helping families, he also works with first responders, emergency personnel and dispatchers.

“We talk about self care,” Buckner said. “When you have that kind of stuff in your ear all day, how do you stay healthy? Part of your job is to take care of yourself.”

Sometimes, responders are really open and want to talk freely, but others, police officers in particular, are sometimes guarded and take a while for trust to be built.

Dedman said having a listener available is helpful.

“He’s a great sounding board,” Dedman said. “He’s a chaplain, but a lot of times that doesn’t even come into play. He’s non-denominational. He can provide services, whether it be support or religious.”

Buckner, in turn, talks with responders and his wife about cases to help himself decompress.

His help is something people have thanked him for years afterward. He remembered a recent case where a father had lost his daughter two years earlier and Buckner showed up to help out. Buckner had not heard from the man since then, and he didn’t expect to.

“That was the worst day of his life,” he said. “I should have been the farthest thing from his mind.”

Then, standing in line in the grocery store all that time later, Buckner was approached by the man who thanked him for his services.

“Most people are grateful,” he added.

Buckner’s ministry is supported by donations, including an upcoming Dec. 4 silent auction that will take place from 5 to 9 p.m. at Wheat Montana, 405 Main St. in Kalispell. A number of great Christmas presents, including a helicopter ride with Two Bear Air, professional messages, financial services and a sleigh ride with a chili dinner are up for grabs.

A GoFund me account also has been set up at www.gofund.me/dq66cy8y.

Reporter Megan Strickland may be reached at 758-4459 or by email at [email protected].