Welcome back to our cyclical sports

The Olympics are back!

The three-week sporting extravaganza may be an absolute mess this year, but there are sure to be enough American victories to make us forget about all the atrocities happening outside of our TV screens.

The U.S. is favored again to win the medal count, as it has in each of the last five Olympiads.

That mark is safe thanks, in part, to our greatness as a country, especially our greatness in the sports that hand out the most medals like swimming, gymnastics and track and field. If at any point in the next few weeks you get worried that our medal count as a country isn’t atop the world, just wait for those three sports to start.

While those sports take center stage, soaking up primetime TV and all the advertising in between, the U.S. is also favored at some of the more obscure sports that pop up every four years.

Did you know we’re great at water polo?

Did you know water polo doesn’t involve horses?

The women won the gold in 2012 in London and the U.S. could win gold in both men’s and women’s water polo this year, which to the uninitiated is basically soccer in a pool and might be the most physically grueling sport of the next three weeks.

Of course you know we’re good at indoor volleyball and beach volleyball. You pay attention to that sport.

Did you know the U.S. has the favorite to win gold in triathlon?

Yes! That thing that you say you’re going to train for only to chicken out and do a slimmed down version because, really, who wants to run for 26 miles after all that biking and swimming? The top American woman has won all eight of her races this season and has won the World Triathlon series crown two years in a row.

Speaking of dominant women on the U.S. team, Serena Williams is a favorite in tennis, but did you know you can win a gold medal in table tennis? Ping-Pong? There are singles and doubles events. The American team is actually not amazing at this sport, but it’s still really cool you can win a gold medal for a sport that can be played in a garage.

Without looking at Google I couldn’t name two of the five events in modern pentathlon. In fact, I’m pretty sure a few people think I’m making the sport up.

It’s a sport made just for the Olympics, and was actually modern back in 1912, set to find the ideal soldier by testing skills in swimming, fencing, horse riding, shooting and running.

While a few of those skills are no longer pertinent on a battlefield, it’s still a multi-dimensional event that tests multiple skillsets unseen in many other sports at the Summer Games.

Speaking of fencing, we’re good at that too with one of the top women in the sport.

And as exciting sports that are only featured every four years go, handball and field hockey are high on the list.

For all you dreamers out there, sailing, canoeing and kayaking are events you might get into, though many of the vessels in Rio, and especially the water, might not look like what you’re used to in the Flathead Valley.

Remember last month when The Event was held? They’re doing all that at the Olympics too.

The U.S. should also carry the torch in many of the more traditional sports, like wrestling, rowing and boxing, ensuring no matter when you tune in, there will probably be an American competing and excelling in that sport.

And even with shoddy construction, disease-infested waters and every other imaginable problem popping up in the lead-up to the games, the lasting memory will probably be all the winners that excel in the face of it and all the tear-jerking stories of the sacrifices it took for them to get there.

So wave the flag, the Olympics are back. We’re all winners.