I visited California uncles once in a while during the 1970s and was disappointed to learn they didn’t visit each other much, sometimes not having contact for more than a year even though they lived in the same small town.

I’m starting to get it now that my grandchildren are growing and becoming active members of their communities.

We’ve had a Christmas gathering at my place for several years. We share Christmas meal of mixed traditions. We sing and play games. Sometimes the play involves singing.

We have an exchange of white elephant gifts as the 40 to 50 of us form a circle and play the left-right game. Somewhere in there, Santa Claus makes an appearance.

Brothers Bob and Dave and sister Jenny attend. Most often Bob will bring some of his grandkids from Spokane or Pasco. But Jenny’s adult children live in western Washington and Dave’s live in Seattle and Othello.

My three adult children attend with their children. That’s 12 grandkids. After the extended family leaves, the grandkids receive their gifts from Grandma and me.

Not this year. We are scheduled for Saturday, Dec. 17, but the turnout will be smaller. Teddy’s wife and three kids will be here, but he will be working in Alaska. Grover, his wife, and three of his kids will be here. The oldest may have to work that day.

Daughter Berney and her five kids will not make it this time. Her kids will be involved in music recitals or ballet performances. I feel bad I can’t get there. I love watching all of the kids perform.

We schedule the gathering for a Saturday at 5 p.m. because that is when grandma gets home from work. That also gives folks from Spokane, Moses Lake and other distant places ample travel time.

Berney’s kids are mostly into the arts. Grover’s are champion wrestlers. Teddy’s are into soccer and the arts. Guess who can’t be there often enough. Yup, grandma and grandpa.

Grover’s boys wrestle or play football on Saturdays in Spokane. Grandma works Saturdays. Berney’s kids do their arts in the evenings or Saturdays in Walla Walla. Saturdays are out, but grandma and I can make it to some early evening weekday performances.

Teddy’s son Raymond was in a Missoula Children’s Theatre play recently in Granger, and we got to see that. It appears we will be in attendance at the Dec. 12 Christmas concert our daughter Jenny’s Assumption Elementary choirs will do in Walla Walla.

We saw Berney and Jenny for Thanksgiving. They came here. We will go to them in Walla Walla for Christmas Day. We won’t see Teddy for Christmas. His family will be in California. We will see Grover and his family at Christmastime, just not Christmas Day.

The only thing worse than having everybody going in every direction is trying to keep up with where grandma and grandpa are supposed to be and when.

Grandma and I had no idea the mess we were creating when we started our family in 1978.