Make it stop.

The goal: Watch 30 new-to-me bad Christmas movies over the course of the holiday season.

With the help of Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and YouTube, I’m watching Christmas-themed movies that fit at least one of the following criteria: 1. A Christmas movie released straight-to-video or to television. 2. The movie carries a reputation for being lousy. 3. A holiday program with subject matter intended solely for children.

I’m hoping to find a new “bad” Christmas classic — a movie so terrible it’s entertaining enough to watch every year going forward — think of the fascinatingly absurd “Jingle All the Way” or “Christmas with the Kranks.” Unfortunately, most bad movies never reach the level of Arnold Schwarzenegger rocketing around Minneapolis in a jet pack.

Where did this week’s entries land on the crazy-terrible scale? Read on.

Day 18

“Santa with Muscles” (1996) YouTube. Former wrestling superstar and scandal magnet Hulk Hogan plays an egotistical health guru who gets amnesia after a paintball-related chase with police. Mistaken as a mall Santa, the Hulkster begins thinking he’s a hero of the people, which includes protecting a bunch of orphans from an evil mad scientist. A young Mila Kunis and a cavern of magical crystals provide plenty of distraction, but the core problem remains front and center — Hulk Hogan lacks commitment and charisma in the role. I want the Hulk Hogan from “No Holds Barred,” not a shadow of the watered-down “Mr. Nanny” version. This should have been a home run.

Day 19

“Dear Santa” (2011). Netflix. Amy Acker (a Joss Whedon favorite) plays a spoiled socialite who tries to woo a widowed working class fella after she finds his daughter’s letter to Santa. Nothing too revelatory here, although credit to director Jason Priestley (90210!) for navigating the dead-parent tropes with sincerity. Acker deserves better work.

Day 20

“The Three Dogateers” (2014) Netflix. Oh my. Extreme fish-eye close-ups dominate this cracked-out talking dog movie. It features a psychotic dogcatcher, a pair of bumbling holiday crooks (knock-off Wet Bandits) shown onscreen only from the knees down, and a desperate-for-money Dean Cain screaming “Ah geez” into the camera at least 36 times. I’ll admit I’m not the biggest expert on Alexandre Dumas, but I didn’t catch a lot of literary references here.

Day 21

“A Christmas Horror Story” (2015) Netflix. William Shatner plays a small-town radio host who serves as the interlocking piece to four Christmas Eve-set tales of terror. None really deliver on scares, mostly because the stories keep breaking momentum every time the movie checks in on another story.

The big screen “Krampus” from last year wasn’t great, but it does more with the legend than what happens with the undercooked version in this film. The best story involves Santa Claus battling a horde of zombie elves — lots of gory zombie kills if you’re into that sort of thing, but a late twist ends the movie on a sour note.

Day 22

“Santa Pac’s Merry Berry Day” (2015) Netflix. I don’t understand it, but I watched it. I’ve since learned that this holiday special is an extension of the Disney XD series, “Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures,” which adds a whole lot of nonsense to the “Pac Man” universe. I get the fruit. I get the ghosts. Everything else… no.

Day 22.5

“Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas” (1992) Hulu. This entry doesn’t count because technically it’s just a 22-minute TV special. Plus nothing about the old “Inspector Gadget” cartoon can ever be defined as “bad.” I won’t defend the Matthew Broderick live-action movie.

Day 23

“A Very Brady Christmas” (1988) Hulu. I watched “The Brady Bunch” quite a bit as a kid, and I even like the jokey movie update from 1995. That admiration can’t extend to this reunion movie, which focuses on the mundane problems of the all-grown-up Brady children. Plus, a random building collapses. Meh, more footballs to the nose, please.

Day 24

“Christmas in Wonderland” (2007) Amazon Prime/Hulu. Basically a 90-minute advertisement for Canada’s West Edmonton Mall. Imagine the Mall of America sequence in “Jingle All the Way” extended to feature length, with goofball chases and antics highlighting the most alluring aspects of the shopping center/theme park.

Plenty of ridiculous stuff here. When two kids find a bag full of counterfeit money, they go around the mall buying anything and everything — including a motorbike, no questions asked. “Saturday Night Live” alum Chris Kattan plays the guy who owns the fake money, but he chases the kids around for hours like he’s lost real money. His plan is to buy a bunch of stuff with the counterfeit bills, then take real money back as change from those transactions. Great idea until a couple of dumb kids spend the money and alert the Mounties and mall security about the counterfeit bills. The only logical play is to abandon the plan and leave the kids to deal with the mess they’ve made. But no, he keeps chasing them and implicating himself. Such is The Mango.

Also, the kids deserve a stern lecture. Even though they don’t know the money is counterfeit, they make routinely bad choices, ignore basic parental instructions, and at one point rig a ceiling window so villain Carmen Electra falls hundreds of feet to what should be certain death (a sea lion pool saves her).

After stealing a bunch of toys and creating thousands of dollars in property damage, these kids are rewarded with a warm hug from Dad Patrick Swayze, a handshake from a bumbling Mountie played by creepy Tim Curry, and a magical Christmas morning courtesy of Santa Claus. At the very least, these kids deserve lumps of coal. Better yet, make them watch the filmography of Chris Kattan on a loop, with “Corky Romano” playing twice as often as the other movies.

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Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.