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Helping others to ease the pain

Mary Malone | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 8 years, 9 months AGO
by Mary Malone
| February 15, 2016 8:00 PM

A yellowed piece of paper with the handwriting of a child hangs on the wall of the Beattys' living room in Hayden.

When Denise Beatty was 7 years old, in the midst of a childhood burdened with pain and abuse, she had written down the eight "Beatitudes" from the Gospels of Matthew and Luke. At the top of the paper she had written "True Happiness," listing the Beatitudes below it, beginning with: "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor."

"That's what's kept me going in life and I have just held on to that because of what I have lived through," she said. "I just remember, 7 years old, sitting on the front steps at home in San Mateo, California, looking at the stars. The stars were in perfect order, but my life was so messed up. And I said, 'I know there is a God, I don't know who you are, I don't know where you are, but I'm going to find you.' So I went in and found the Beatitudes and I held on to them."

And she has held on to them for almost 50 years.

Beatty has lived with severe jaw pain for almost 40 years. During that time she has been through eight surgeries and had her jaw wired shut six times. Her most recent surgery came after the artificial joints in her jaw began to fail. Beatty went to specialist in Texas who told her if she didn't get them removed, she could die. Because the artificial joints were loose, they could have fractured and shattered what is left of her natural mandible.

The trauma to Beatty's jaw was caused by her father when she was 17 — in June of 1977 to be exact. She said it was several hours after her dad beat her up that her stepmother, who worked at Kaiser, took her to the hospital. She said the doctors and nurses never spoke to her or asked her anything. They took X-rays and she left — she was never able to fully open her jaw again.

"I remember the next day I told my dad, I looked at him and said, 'I forgive you, but I'll never forget,' and he said, 'I don't ever want you to," Beatty said.

Beatty said she ended up putting him in prison because he not only beat her, but he was a pedophile and she knew she had to come forward. She said the world is a safer place without him.

"I knew I had to do what I had to do, my brother and I, because he could still be out there and we'd be guilty," she said.

She said her father has since died and all she can do is move forward.

Even with the physical pain she endures day and night, Beatty finds solace in helping others. Her friends call her a "modern day Dorcas."

Dorcas, or Tabitha, is a woman from the Bible who lived in the town of Joppa. She made clothes for the needy, brought food to children and the poor and was very loved throughout the community.

In comparison, Beatty has a sewing room with many shelves full of different cloth and other items for making clothes or whatever it is somebody might need. she has made wedding dresses and curtains and she gives the items away. She also volunteers to teach people about healthy cooking and natural remedies.

She raised three children, all of whom now work in the medical field. When they were younger and attended a Christian school in California, Beatty had volunteered as a home economics teacher. She has also worked as a dental assistant, medical assistant and interior designer.

Beatty said she sometimes gets discouraged because of the overwhelming pain, but her husband James and her ability to help others gives her hope and livelihood.

"Whatever it is that we deal with, we need to concentrate on others needs because the best way to take the pain off yourself is to help somebody else," Beatty said. "When I start feeling down, I push pretty hard to do something for someone else. This is not going away, so I am going to do what I can, while I can."

Beatty and her husband started a free class where they help people with depression and anxiety. While they are happy to help so many others, Beatty said the class is really for her as well.

"Your attitude has a lot to do with how you're going to face things," James said. "It's a challenge for everyone."

Beatty was able to raise the money to get the old artificial joints removed in November, which has lessened the pain somewhat. Her next surgery to have new implants put in is scheduled for Feb. 26 in Texas, but she is once again discouraged because of the cost. She is on disability and her husband works as a certified nursing assistant for Homewatch CareGivers in Coeur d'Alene. Insurance covers 80 percent of medical costs, leaving almost $50,000 in expenses.

"They don't have anyone that does this kind of surgery in Idaho, otherwise we would have it done here," James said.

Beatty said they save every penny possible, but the date is approaching quickly and they have not reached their goal yet.

"Some people were saying, 'you need to cancel, you don't have it,'" Beatty said. "And I understand, but I'm having a really hard time with that."

Beatty has a website at: www.gofundme.com/moderndorcasdenise

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