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A journey through adoption

Devin Heilman | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 7 years, 11 months AGO
by Devin Heilman
| November 26, 2016 6:55 PM

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<p>JAKE PARRISH/Press</p><p>From left, Beckham, Docker, Ranell, David, Lexie and Mia Bond hang out in the living room of their Hayden home on Nov. 9, 2016.</p>

Editor's note: This is the second in a two-part series presenting the journeys of two families who chose to adopt. November is National Adoption Month.

Years ago, David and Ranell Bond knew adoption could be in their future.

They were told Ranell may have trouble carrying to full term, but then they were blessed with healthy and happy Lexie, Docker and Mia.

Even with three, they knew they had room for one more.

"It just felt like we had a lot of love to give, that we weren't quite done," Ranell said, seated on a living room couch with her husband and kids. "We started thinking about the children that didn't have families and that really got the ball rolling."

After several family conferences, the Bonds began the process of adoption in February 2011. They worked with Idaho Youth Ranch working on their home study, which is conducted after applicants have completed training classes to adopt or foster. Home study reports generally include background information, financial statements, education and employment information, parenting experiences, details about the home and neighborhood and other data about a family's living situation.

By November, they had their referral. They initially were going to adopt a little girl in the U.S. but it fell through at the last minute.

"I wouldn't even call it a failed adoption, because that little girl went to the right home she needed to go to," Ranell said.

After that, their hearts called them to adopt internationally.

And that call was answered in the form of a little Ethiopian boy known then as Sintayehu.

Ranell's friend, the Ethiopian program director for International Family Services, posted on the agency's website that they had a healthy, 1-year-old baby boy who needed a family.

"Right when I saw that, I shot a message over to her, 'Oh my goodness, I feel like you're talking about my son," Ranell said. "She said, 'I actually thought of you guys when I saw Sintayehu, but I knew you weren't ready financially for the next round.'"

Financially ready or not, Ranell and David felt in their hearts this little guy was meant to be theirs. Their friend sent them an email referral with his information.

"That's when we opened up his picture," Ranell said. "All five of us were in the office and we opened up that referral and we saw him and we just knew."

The older kids were a bit resistant about adopting a new child into the family. Docker, now 15, was concerned about his role as the only son, and Mia, now 12, didn't want to give up her spot as the youngest.

"I didn't want another person in our family but I kind of did," Mia said. "I liked being the youngest. Then, when we saw him, I was really excited and I'm like, 'Yes, I want this to be my brother.'"

"It was a beautiful process of resistance how their heart really opened up, and then to explain to our kids that 'Now that you're open to it, there will be sacrifices — this is what it looks like, it's a very expensive process and sacrifices will come along," David said. "So many things, and they bought in. It was beautiful. By the time it was time to bring him home, they were so ready and we were so ready."

Ranell and David went to Ethiopia in June 2013 to meet Sintayehu. They brought him a soccer ball to engage with him and they gave him one side of a blanket, the other side waiting for him at his new home in Hayden.

The process the Bonds went through required they make two trips to see their new son before they take him to the States, a heart-wrencher for a mom who just wanted her kid home.

"We left Addis Ababa and I sobbed like I’ve never sobbed," Ranell said. "The only reason I was able to get on that plane and leave him is because I had three other children. That got me on that plane. To leave him was horrific, and I still don’t understand that part of the process."

The total cost of adopting their new son was about $43,000. David and Ranell shared that Sintayehu's birth father had died from AIDS at a young age, a disease his birth mother also carried. But knowing the dismal fate that could be ahead for the little one, who was miraculously clear of disease, his birth mom did all she could to get him somewhere safe.

"When we talk about cost, we know the ultimate cost for her is she walked to the embassy, took three days from the region they were from to take him to the U.S. Embassy," Ranell said. "I think of cost and I think that was the ultimate cost for her."

On Sept. 1, 2013, the Bonds welcomed their newest member and tied the split blanket together. The child was also to have a new name, Beckham, with his Ethiopian name remaining in the middle.

"Beckham actually chose his own name," Mia explained. "My parents were telling him names as he was coloring and he looked up and repeated it twice."

"I love my second name Beckham,” Beckham said with a giggle, beginning to repeat the name with a happy smile on his face.

It took Beckham, now 5, a little while to acclimate to American culture, but he is now talkative and charismatic and has even began an acting career.

"He was quiet the first five or six months," David said, grinning. "And he hasn’t been quiet ever since."

Through their experience and knowing the incredible need for kids domestically and around the world to have loving homes, the Bonds created a nonprofit, Hope45K, to advocate for orphans and adoptive families. Each October, they hold the Orphan Run to raise funds for families in the process of adoption.

David said adoption, "especially through foster care, is a beautiful thing. It really is."

"It's a call that you have as a parent to be able to foster kids and give them that opportunity to adopt them," he said.

Lexie, 18, got to travel to Ethiopia to see her new little brother and all the children in the foster home where he was living.

"It was very worth it and it actually inspired me to adopt when I’m older, and I definitely want to go back to Africa,” she said. "It was a great experience.”

Ranell said she gives credit to Donna Euler, adoption program manager at Idaho Youth Ranch, for helping them through the process.

"She was amazing helping with the classes we had to take," Ranell said.

Euler said it is so important for children in orphanages and foster care to find permanent homes. Last year, Idaho Youth Ranch's adoption program served more than 200 families statewide.

"Kids who have multiple caregivers and haven't had anyone in their life that they can trust can cause bonding and attachment issues," Euler said. "I think it does have an impact on the way children treat other people and their ability to develop relationships with other people.

"The people who provide the homes for these kids are the heroes, and the mothers who make that difficult choice when they know they’re not ready for motherhood," she continued. "They're the heroes."

For information about adoption, fostering or support for pregnant moms, contact Euler at 667-1898 or visit www.idahoyouthranchadoptions.org.

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