Sometimes a man needs to think!

As life floods one’s mind with the death of a friend, angry politicians degrading each other with personal assaults, terminal illness and children suffering, my world becomes overwhelming. Life pressures force one to quit thinking of the future, quit laughing, quit supporting and nurturing positive relationships and strive to simply survive. Today, I live this life.

The overwhelming pressure of daily living leaves me stagnant — unable to move ahead in my professional or personal life, unable to sleep and constantly perseverating on global, community, family and personal struggles. I need sleep, I need to focus on important things in the present, I need to plan for the future, I need to find the missing me.

Clients come to me with the same stressors I struggle with today and I offer simple advice. To the client, “You need to spend 20 minutes a day by yourself, thinking. Turn off the television, take a walk, sit in a coffee shop, go for a drive — spend time with yourself thinking.”

Clients confess, when they find time to think, they often slay the demons renting space in their heads. One client recently confessed, “I never spent time by myself thinking. It’s like a drug. Now that I am truly thinking about life, about me, about what is right in my life and about how I need to exorcise the negative thoughts from my soul, I feel complete. I’m a thinking being.”

I am horrible at taking care of my emotional being. I offer advice in my psychotherapy practice which I never follow. Knowing that time spent alone, thinking, is a powerful motivator for psychological health, I seldom offer myself time to think. I know therapists, who schedule 20 minutes after each session just to think, take notes and evaluate how the session affected the therapist. I schedule my patients back-to-back to ensure I can see all patients who wish to see me. Tonight I realize thinking has value.

Today I do something unprecedented. I take a day off work to think. As I wake at 5 a.m., the dogs wonder, why is our buddy preparing to leave the house at this hour? Dressing in the quiet of my bedroom, I hear thunderous rain pounding on the roof and deck of my home. I reconsider my decision to head to the mountains, but my determination to find myself prevails.

Both dogs nuzzle my hands as I attempt to tie my boots, making lacing my footwear impossible. I laugh, pat both pups on the head, and decide to tie my boots in the garage. I back out of my home as rain hits the windshield of my SUV. I engage the wipers full-on, turn on the radio and begin my journey.

Arriving at my favorite trail at the Wolf Lodge side of Fernan Saddle, I don my coat, hat, pack full of food and survival gear and gloves and head up the mountain. Breathing heavily, I arrive at the top of the mountain and can barely stand. I’m rain-drenched, sweating, tired and scared. It’s dark, raining heavily, and the forest is full of sounds. The sun is 30 minutes from rising and my glasses are fogged.

I sit, wait for the sun to rise and begin to cool down. Now I’m freezing. Remembering the reason for my trek, I try to think but again, am too focused on surviving, being warm, shivering and realizing, I need to get down this mountain. Two hours after my initial hike, I am back in my car, heading home.

After two hours at my house with a warm blanket covering my cold body and the fireplace thawing my boots, I’m ready to try again. I drive back to the mountain, the rain has stopped and I reclimb my mountain. This time I’m ready to think. Sitting on this mountain I begin to think what is not working in my life. I decide there are things I have control of and things I don’t have control of.

Two views of the world create equal stress in the life of Americans and of me. One is the macro-globalized view of the world which sees suicide bombers in France, war in the Middle East and a presidential candidate calling his competitor the devil.

The other view is a micro-community view of one’s neighborhood which focuses on family, friends and one’s hometown. Each person has great ability to change or celebrate the micro-community in which he or she lives and little ability to move the barometer on a macro stage.

On this mountain, I decide to pay close attention to things I can control and psychologically let go of things I have no control of. I can’t control who becomes president of our country and I can’t control when my sister dies of the terminal cancer that infects her body. I can control the love I offer my sister as she fights this horrible disease and I can celebrate the life of friends who recently died due to this illness.

On this mountain I decide, I can give my best to the children who need my best and stand up and protect the children who need me as their advocate. I decide I can’t stop suicide bombings in London, but can work to ensure the children in Idaho have faith, a reason to live and an opportunity to succeed in life.

In closing, I offer each reader the opportunity to grow, to become an advocate for those who can’t advocate for oneself, and a healthy and positive change-agent in our community. Head to the mountains, take a drive, a walk or ride, and think.

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Send comments or other suggestions to William Rutherford at bprutherford@hotmail.com or visit pensiveparenting.com.