When I was in my early teens, if I recall correctly, I promised myself that I would never be like some older people. I saw a number of seniors whose health was questionable because of a perceived lack of exercise. I reasoned that all of this could be prevented through determination and willpower. However, then I grew older.

In my youth, I loved playing sports like football, basketball, baseball and tennis. I picked up soccer when I was in my early twenties. When I was in college, in between classes, I would play long-distance Frisbee and participate in hacky sack circles with fellow students in Red Square at Western Washington University. I picked up golf in my thirties. In my forties, I found a table tennis instructor who taught me to play club level competition in the fastest sport that I have ever known. I was also active in church softball leagues and played center field.

However, at age 50, things began to change. In softball, I noticed that I was no longer as sure on my feet. My left leg began to feel a bit odd when I ran and it became difficult to break quickly without experiencing pain. I learned that I was beginning to develop arthritis in my hips. That was the last year I played softball.

One day I encountered a youth that had a hacky sack and foolishly asked to join. I could only hit the small bag once with my foot. My arthritis caused too much pain. Last year, I found it difficult to play table tennis. My feet could no longer move as fast as they had in the past so I was no longer competitive at that level.

One result of this was an opportunity for spiritual growth that was at first disguised. Some might consider my physical, age-related limitations as “small deaths.” Yet, I discovered gaining through losing. My loss of sports-related vitality led to some degree of crisis of ego. The outcome was a greater awareness of my mortality and greater dependence upon God.

Somedays I wish I could go back in time and visit the teenage me. If I could, I would tell myself not to be so judgmental and that experience is the best teacher of all.

Walter is pastor of Immanuel Lutheran Church and has served as parish pastor for more than 25 years.